Reading Rambo

Starting it off with some ruffle layering, nice, nice. She doesn't seem too into it, but she knows she looks awesome and that the bustle's working for her.

DAMN let's examine this photograph. Not only does she look like she wants to get the hell out of this picture, her corset's kickass, the stripes on her skirt are A to the +, her gloves make her look like a lady, and she's leaning on some random banister FESTOONED with things. Who gazes off into the distance with a slightly pained expression (could be the corset) while wearing an outfit that awesome? Edith Wharton. She is done. She is over it. She will write a withering short story about this incident later this evening because she can.

I CAN'T EVEN WITH THIS. Wtf is up with her dress! And then she's got her hands in a muff the size of a wolverine! Who can pull that off -- Edith Wharton can.

Omg. Do I even need to talk about this? Because this is turn-of-the-century classic author and brilliant human Edith W…

1. Virginia Woolf


I'm pretty sure Virginia Woolf's hair never actually touched her neck. This is the best of the "I think I'll pin it back today" days that she had approximately every day of her life.

2. Jane Austen



Um, we never see anything but the front 10% of Jane Austen's hair. (Jane Austen replies that it's not like she lived in a whorehouse but this is my post, not hers, so no more of that) Despite the overall cover-up, she curled the front excellently and I don't know how, unless she used those fabric scraps that ladies do in movies. If I tried that with my curling iron THAT close to my forehead, I'd have bright red marks all up in there.

3. George Sand



George Sand looked fabulous 24/7 and I shouldn't have to choose her best day. But we're going with this photo from her later years, because HOW do you even get your hair to do that. That is amazing, and so is George Sand.

4. Zora Neale Hurston


If photos are a good indicator, Zora Neale H…

1. Mark Twain


Look at that. Look at those curly locks. Sure, his later white hair was iconic, but aside from that moustache, dude was looking good back in the day.

2. Nathaniel Hawthorne




Nathaniel Hawthorne never had a good hair day. Look up photos.


3. J.D. Salinger




Salinger's hair was slicked back 200% of the time. This is his most Rat Pack-like photo, though, and those guys were a pretty hip bunch.


4. Wilkie Collins



A lot of Wilkie Collins's photos have him looking like you just suggested bowling as a fun afternoon activity. Wilkie never had a lot of hair up top, but he did have one important thing:




5. John Steinbeck



Steinbeck has the worst hair of any of these guys, including Hawthorne. He poofs it up on top for his entire life like some girl at prom told him it looked good that way and he never looked back. She was lying, John. She just wanted to get out of the conversation.