Reading Rambo

You all ever read any Thomas Hardy? I did. I read Tess of the d'Urbervilles (which is an IRONIC TITLE, by the way), and if you will remember, did this to the cover because the whole thing is too fucking sad:



You think anyone was ever like: 

"Hey Tom. Tom. Tom. Want to maybe take a walk in a glade? Drink some vitamin C? Get a happier outlook on life?"

"No."

In my continuing If Authors from the Past Were College Roommates series (I know two does not really equal a series, leave me alone), let's look at Walt Whitman and Thomas Hardy.

Whitman: "Eighteen years and now I am here!
Eighteen years and all so radiant
Eighteen years of life, and now we need to figure out
Who gets the desk by the window."

Hardy: 


Whitman: "I am a Nautilus, an ever-curving shell Life is joyous and I will Celebrate it Let's go to that luau they're having this evening. (also I really want that desk)"
Hardy:












Whitman: "Have you pondered the atoms of the universe? Have you …

How hilarious would it be if Charlotte Bronte and Jane Austen had to be freshman year roommates at college. 'Cause freshman year you've probably never roomed with someone before, so you're gonna be a jerk at sharing what basically amounts to a cell with them. My freshman year roommate and I ended up having an epic battle the night before first semester finals that ended with my Jell-O being dumped out of our minifridge and me sleeping on the floor of my best friend's room down the hall. I spent the rest of the week at my parents', studying for my British History to 1688 final by reenacting historical scenes with my Beanie Babies.
But that is neither here nor there, because the POINT is that Charlotte Bronte and Jane Austen would have hated each other, because along with "She stares broodingly out the window ALL THE TIME" complaints, they would've been taking the same creative writing class, and Jane would've been offering criticism like "MAY…