Reading Rambo

It all started with Anjelica Huston. Like any normal 14-year-old, I was spending my summer obsessed with the then-48-year-old actress. It was 1999, so the internet was still experiencing growing pains, but it was advanced enough that a young teenager could find filmographies, interviews, and agent addresses where she could send letters detailing how much an actress's performance in Addams Family Values  meant to her. In one of these interviews, Huston said the last book she had read was Charming Billy  by Alice McDermott. Charming Billy  is an excellent novel about an Irish-American man who dies from alcoholism. Under normal circumstances, none of these things would appeal to me, but when you're 14 and obsessed, you will read anything that person read (see also: Enemies, A Love Story  by Isaac Bashevis-Singer). also I was really gay and didn't know it yet My family was going where we went every summer: the small, historical community of Chautauqua, NY, origi

"Hogwarts is threatened!" shouted Professor McGonagall. "Man the boundaries, protect us, do your duty to our school!" HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KEEP THIS CONCISE HOW. The Battle of Hogwarts is probably one of my favorite things in literature. The entire last quarter of the book is brilliant, and J.K. Rowling deserves her damn place in the twinkly literary firmament.  Did you notice she actually started trying with her prose? Like, her normal writing is just awesome because of the way she makes you care about characters and how she sets up a world, but then we fucking get stuff like: As they turned a corner the flames chased them as though they were alive, sentient, intent upon killing them. Now the fire was mutating, forming a gigantic pack of fiery beasts: Flaming serpents, chimaeras, and dragons rose and fell and rose again, and the detritus of centuries on which they were feeding was thrown up into the air into their fanged mouths, tossed high on clawed f

We're not even gonna get into how far behind I am here, so this post is going to be about how back when the movie version of Deathly Hallows was first released, this happened: And I was just in the theater being like And then they became the only HP couple I've read fic for as a grownass adult lady and IT'S NOT MY FAULT. THE FILM MADE ME. IT WAS A WEIRD SCENE. And there's no way you make an enormous film like one of the Harry Potters and DON'T realize there's weird sexual tension in your torture scene. Someone points it out to the director. Or to ANYONE. And then -- AND THEN -- Emma Watson and Helena Bonham Carter do not-okay shit like this: Wtf is that? I don't even know what to do with that. Except maybe write a story where Bellatrix changes her ways after finding the brilliant young witch who challenges her someone for whom she can abandon her sordid past and maybe they live in a little cottage off the main road in Hogsmeade and raise chi

YOU GUYS I WAS WATCHING GOLDEN GIRLS WITH MY LITTLE BROTHER AND EATING A BAGUETTE DIPPED IN HUMMUS AND I FORGOT TO POST Here's what I wrote on the train home: Look. I LIKE the never-ending camping trip. Deathly Hallows pt I is my favorite of all the movies, and it’s because it takes its damn time. It isn’t all “WHIZ! BANG! EXPLODING CAKES!” Harry, Ron and Hermione have spent the last six years growing up, having at times silly teenage adventures, and now this is them being serious and getting shit done and being relatable humans. Humans who have to destroy pieces of a dark wizard’s soul that are housed in magical objects so that one of them can try to kill him in an epic battle. STILL RELATABLE. I like when things happen that have actual consequences. The school years are great, but they’re so insular. Everything is at Hogwarts or its immediate environs, and Dumbledore’s always there as a kind of safety blanket. Now it is just them, and they’re trying so hard to make i

UGH THIS BOOK OMG. I'm crying more this time than the first time. Probably because the first time, I was in a race against the clock to finish it since EVERYONE WAS READING IT AT THE SAME TIME and I knew if I didn't finish it in two days, no one would want to still be talking about it when I was done. So this time I get to emotionally feel every single heartwrenchingly terrible thing. Awesome. Last time I didn't cry over Hedwig. This time I was a mess . Complete mess, sitting in my living room, sobbing over my book. One of the things I love most about J.K. Rowling is she can have you weeping on one page and then laughing on the next  damn one, leaving you a hiccuping, laughing, crying wreck of a human being. KREACHER. And the wedding. And everyone being all grown-up and Ron learning how to not be an asshole to Hermione and eeeeverything omg. I don't know how you can't just sob through the whole book. In conclusion, here's stuff from its midnig

Sorry, guys. Singing things are taking up real life (that bastard), so I didn't finish. A final HBP post without talking about the last 200 pages seems ridiculous, so I leave it to you all to be awesome in your discussions and bring forth new ideas, etc etc. Luna's Quidditch commentary is obviously the best part of the book. I'll be over here until next week edit: Don't forget we're reading Tales of Beedle the Bard for next week. It will be a rollicking good time.

And yet again, I did not finish the reading. LOOK LIFE IS BUSY RIGHT NOW. But I did do some of it. And I skimmed the other parts. So we're all set. Regarding this section: I. Love. Backstory. I love backstory so much, if you give me 5% current day situation and devote the rest of your book to backstory, I WILL LOVE YOUR BOOK 95% MORE. This is a big reason I'm liking A Visit from the Goon Squad , which I started prior to Saturday's readathon because I have no regard for your "standard practices." So when they just spend large amounts of time visiting Tom Riddle's past, oh so very happy am I. Then it reverts back to present day and there seems to be some trouble on the Quidditch team, and okay. I guess I'm on board with that. But sekritly I'm hoping there'll be more backstory. And then there is! Oh happy day. We also get flights of verbal fancy with Dumbledore: "From this point forth, we shall be leaving the firm foundations of fact a

RIGHT. So. Halfway through. Umbridge is a lovely vessel for cathartic anger. Hermione saying "V-Voldemort" is seriously cute, only wtf because she didn't grow up being afraid of his name, so her reaction should be like Harry's and what's going onnnnnnn, book. I'm really, very much not looking forward to Grawp. Also: The Hog's Head bar comprised one small, dingy, and very dirty room that smelled strongly of something that might have been goats. I guess I'll just address the main reason I dislike Sirius, as it's pretty much what fucks things later on. Let's look at the end of the chapter "Percy and Padfoot." Sirius appears in the fire. Very nice. Sirius yet again offers, like an idiot, but a cooped-up, been-in-Azkaban-and-now-is-trapped-in-a-hated-house idiot (so it's understandable), to "disguise" himself and see Harry in Hogsmeade. Harry, finally NOT acting an idiot, says no. Rather than just look disa

This book makes me emotional. This is perhaps an understatement. Because this book makes everyone emotional. If I could marry this book — not in a weird, I'm sexually attracted to inanimate objects way, but in a "this is how much I would like to prove my eternal devotion to you" way — I would. So, People Having a Beef With It, while I perfectly understand that everyone has their opinion, I'm going to act like a total 5-year-old regarding criticism of it and just be aware of that. be aware. I don't know how...I glanced through the previous four. But with Order of the Phoenix , I started on page fucking one and then threw myself into the experience with sheer delight. I love everything about this. Except maybe Grawp. But we'll get to him later. If we could do a post on each chapter, I would be thrilled. But in the interests of Harry Potter Readalong harmony, we're gonna do four and not 38. Things people aren't going to like: Harry bit

I was seriously just screencapping the trailer to Joss Whedon's Much Ado About Nothing and preparing for bed when I realized it's basically Harry Potter Post Day, which made me go "Fuck" and now this is what you're getting, because I have to go to sleep in like five minutes. Cho Chang. Don't we all hate Cho Chang? I did, anyway. Because I was 14 and Harry was clearly fated to be with Ginny because she LIKED him, and thusly had my sympathy. stop being you, Chang. just stop. The Yule Ball. And the subsequent Best Fight for a While Now. I specifically remember marathoning this book at the same time as my Ron-and-Hermione-ship-doubting friend, immediately post-release, and when I got to "he somehow thought that Hermione had gotten the point much better than Ron had," I phoned her and launched into "I TOLD YOU. I TOOOOOLD YOU" only to discover she was about 20 pages behind. Don't spoil your friends, kids. *skims some more* Rita

I have an immense fondness for egomaniacal idiots. So when 14-year-old me met this particular idiot: Well, I've never looked back really. Second year. Dobby's there, being annoying as shit (I like him in book 7, but you're basically a heartless banshee if you don't like him in book 7), the Dursleys seem somehow worse, Ginny and Harry have Had a Few Moments, my boy shows up and is perfect, the Chamber of Secrets has been opened, and — oh yeah, this: I like Chamber of Secrets . There's a decent number of good things: it's not really exposition so much anymore; we get to see the Burrow and it is AWESOME; Lockhart, Lockhart, Lockhart; and Hermione is able to brew Polyjuice Potion, which I didn't realize when I read this the first time, but that's HELLA hard to make. And she is 12. Let us all once again realize Hermione is awesome. Oh! Moaning Myrtle! She showed up. And Colin Creevey, but y'know, eh to him. I don't think I can overe

Hufflepuff pride, y'all Oh, the second half of Sorceror's Stone . More specifically, wizard chess (so exciting) and TROLL IN THE DUNGEONS.   How do we feel about this part? The exposition is pretty much done. They're all friends. There've been things set up for the next six books. Snape! It's like he can read minds. The centaurs! There's a prophecy about Harry and Voldemort. Ron and Hermione! Er....nothing really yet. I believe something was brought up in comments last week about how Harry meeting Quirrell should have made his scar hurt, but that was solved in the second half of the reading, as Quirrell made it clear that Voldemort was not hidden beneath his turban until after the Gringotts failure. Problems: we solve them. One of the things I never noticed before because I don't think I had enough distance from the books is how Dumbledore is portrayed here. He's this omnipotent, amazing but still father-like figure. If Dumbledore's

All right, Readalongers. Here's the schedule for the first four books. I'll add the others as it gets closer (which won't be for a while, so calm yo'selves). If people want to take certain books faster/slower, we can decide that later. Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone January 11th - Chapters 1 through 9 January 18th - Chapters 10 through 17 (end of book) Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets January 25th - Chapters 1 through 10 February 1st - Chapters 11 through 18 (end of book) Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban February 8th - Chapters 1 through 11 February 15th - Chapters 12 through 22 (end of book) Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire February 22nd - Chapters 1 through 13 March 1st - Chapters 14 through 20 March 8th - Chapters 21 through 28 March 15th - Chapters 29 through 37 (end of book) Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix March 22nd - Chapters 1 through 12 March 29th - Chapters 13 through 20 April 5th - Ch

The day is here. The time is now. HARRY POTTER READALONG TIME. I realized yesterday I didn't post a schedule, because Alley asked for one and nope, wasn't there, but I WILL POST ONE. Like on Sunday or something. Just know we're doing book 1 in two weeks, posts on Fridays, so next Friday'll be the first half and whatever you want to talk about related to it. We're allowed to reference future events, because if you don't want things spoiled for you, you should've read the series sooner, you wretched human being. So. I'm Alice. I live in Chicago. I receptionize/sing operatic things/wish I could be looking for proof of the Mothman. I first encountered Harry Potter on vacation with my family in 1999, when a mysteeerious old man started walking next to me as I read, asked what I was reading, and then mentioned some new series I might be interested in about a boy who finds out he's a wizard. I read the first book in the car on the way to Niagara Falls

So. 2013. This feels pretty good. Yeah. I'm likin' this year so far. This post is mainly to remind people that TWO events are happening this week. 1) The Harry Potter Readalong of Amazing Awesomeness  or whatever I called it is starting FRIDAY .  The first post for what will surely be the greatest readalong in the history of the internet is going to be introductions (I DON'T KNOW ALL OF YOU) and things that might be harder to discuss in the weekly book discussion posts. What do you see in the series as a whole? Are there issues/random things you think we should look out for while we re-read this (or in Meg's case, 'read this')? Really it's a 'do whatever you want' post.  As mentioned before, the people who usually take part in these readalongs tend to respond to books with keyboard mashing and GIFs. So if that's not for you, mayyybe don't do it? And this is pretty much about discussion, so be prepared to visit other blogs and tell

Okay, people. Here it is. Where you sign up to read the entire Harry Potter series (or to reminisce fondly), starting January 2013, assuming we all survive the Mayan apocalypse. I don't think I'm even going to get to Tina and Bette's reunion on The L Word until after Christmas, so here's hopin'. You guys know how this works. Sign up if you want to. If you're new to the blog, know that we are mostly not going to take this seriously. And when we do take it seriously, it's going to be all Monty Python quotes when we disagree on something like the other person's opinion on Draco Malfoy. So be prepared for your parents being likened to hamsters. If you want to write lengthy, heartfelt essays, that is SWELL. But this is maybe not the readalong for you. It's gonna be more posts with this sort of thing: We're starting Sorceror's/Philosopher's Stone January 4th. Posts will be on Fridays. The first post will be some sort of hilar

I just had a moment of panic for my desk/vanity. I've had this large, cumbersome piece of furniture since I was a teenager and wanted to decorate my room in the style of the 1940s (yeah, I was one of those cool kids who did that sort of thing). So I begged my parents for this desk, which we saw at an antique store, and they bought it for me, and I carted it off to Chicago when I moved up here. But my room is appx 8 x 9, and in that I have my tiny bed, a keyboard and its stand, a floor lamp, and my giant desk/chair. So for Christmas I requested a much lighter desk. My dad informed me today they got it, and I have to pick it up downtown. Which means I have to get rid of my giant heavy wooden desk, which is causing me anxiety because the PICTURES shoved in the mirror during high school, and the endless packs of hair ties in its drawers (those I'm probably less attached to, but still). What's going to happen to it after it leaves my apartment? MEMORIES. ...everything'

First off, if you missed  Doug's post on Pride and Prejudice  last Friday, check that out. Because Doug is awesome. Second, The Casual Vacancy  is kicking ass and taking names. I think, lurking in the back of my brain ever since the book was announced was the thought that 'Um....I probably won't be that into it.' That has been proven FALSE. Because I started Harry Potter  when I was 14, I couldn't read it critically. Could. Not. So when my professors would be like "Blah blah, Order of the Phoenix  the worst one blah blah" all I could do was go "I LOVE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX THE MOST AND I CAN'T TELL YOU WHY." But with THIS, I'm all a grown-ass lady and stuff, so it's like "Oh, J.K., your character details are what make us love you. THIS IS HOW YOUR WRITING IS MAGICAL." Because she somehow knows EXACTLY what to say to flesh out a character. I suspect I'd read this with a lot more reservation if it were by any