Reading Rambo

It was announced today that 21-year-old pop singer Meghan Trainor was canceling the remainder of her "MTrain Tour," which was supposed to run through September 13th, because she has suffered a second vocal cord hemorrhage.

Yes. A second.

This inevitable second hemorrhage occurred because when her first occurred, her record company gave her a resting period of FIVE DAYS.



Five days? The fuck is this, Epic Records? That is a young girl who considered herself a songwriter until last year when you said "Hey, you're gonna sing your own songs," and great, you gave her a record deal. But that girl therefore knows shit about vocal health. You know who I bet does know? The ENTs and vocal coaches you have daily interactions with, because you're a RECORD COMPANY. You're gonna tell me you thought FIVE. DAYS. was an adequate amount of time to rest when your singer's throat is bleeding?

Even this randomass website I pulled up off Google says minimum of one week. And …

I know you all might think my Meghan Trainor enthusiasm has waned, but REST ASSURED IT BURNS BRIGHT AS THE PLANET VENUS.

There has unfortunately not been much new material from her, as she is on tour overseas, but there is a duet coming out with One Direction's Harry Styles someday maybe, which is of course called..."Someday Maybe."


Now that I have indeed been listening to Meghan Trainor's music for MONTHS upon months, what are her best songs? Well. Here are my current top 5, excluding All About That Bass because you all know it, damnit:

1. Lips Are Movin. It's still great. Not sick of it. Do I know some of the dance because I watched a choreography video YES OF COURSE. What I'm saying is, it's immensely catchy and even though I avoided the music video for ages due to the sequined cat shirt I saw her wearing in it, it is in fact adorable.


2. Dear Future Husband. Ugh. The thinkpieces written on this song. My automatic reaction is "y'all can go fuck yo…

Oh my, what's been happening. Well. I have been acting as a reader of all books, finisher of none, which comes as a surprise to precisely nobody.

I wrote a thing for Book Riot! And I'm going to NYC again, where I shall visit the delightful Jeff from Other Press, first mentioned in that post where I questioned Donna Tartt; Meghan from Little, Brown, whom I met at BEA last year and then talked with into the wee smalls; Blair from Quirk, whom I also met at BEA and have since closed down a Chicago bar with; and Alley, whom you all know and love and her blog is right here.

While I'm sad not to see Amanda from Book Riot and Emily from As the Crowe Flies (and Reads), BEA will be in Chicago next year! And I live in Chicago! That is THE most convenient. Unlike this year, when it's in NYC again and I am going to California instead because I am turning THIRTY, and while age 25, aka Golden Birthday, was spent seeing the home of my high school beard, John Adams, age 30 is going to be…

Meghan Trainor concerting. It has happened.

My delightful coupled friends Emily and Greg came with and we RAN to the House of Blues at 5 PM on a Wednesday, where we stood only about 40 people back in a group of mostly 12-year-olds. Doors opened at 6, and we bee-lined to the bar where we were of course some of the only people drinking. 

Oh, but first we checked coats and I bought some merch. 


So we decide to stand at the back of the main floor, which isn't huge at the House of Blues, because we wanted the many tiny children to be able to see. BUT THEN ALL THEIR PARENTS STOOD WITH THEM and their parents were Mountain People over whose heads the shorter among us could not see, so we gradually made our way to about the middle of the crowd, where I stood with many children who were exactly my height.


 Now when I first got really into Meghan Trainor, I did not realize that most of her fans were in junior high. This is because A) I have very little interaction with children over the age of …

Some of you might be aware I've been consumed by a slightly more than passing interest in Meghan Trainor as of late. I have never, repeat, never, followed a pop singer's career to this degree. There was a failed 8th grade attempt involving NSYNC where I purchased a magazine, cut out the pictures and stuck them all over my wardrobe while telling myself I had a crush on "I don't know, Lance, I guess." But this was all due to the mistaken notion that they sang "When the Lights Go Out," which is in fact sung by the British group Five. Once this was cleared up, down the pictures went.


In the grand tradition of obsessive brains, I now have way too much info on Meghan Trainor and, in casual conversation, make myself offer up a highly filtered version of this information (haha jk "highly" filtered never happens for me and there is inevitably a moment of uncomfortableness where the other person says "wow, you...really know a lot about that topic&q;…

Once a year, the women of my church go to Wisconsin for a retreat. It is calming. It is contemplative. It is delightful. I somehow made a thing out of bringing Cheez-Its every year.


It's the only time of year I put my phone in airplane mode for anything longer than the duration of a flight. I usually have some kind of objective or something I'm trying to puzzle through. Retreats are the greatest, and if I'm ever in a position where I can't go on this one anymore, I am going to ensure I can go on another somewhere. ONCE A YEAR. Important for mental health.

In other news, which is softened by the fact that I am writing this while half asleep, I BOUGHT MEGHAN TRAINOR TICKETS AND AM GOING TO SEE HER LIVE AND AHHHHHHHH.



Do I know lots of weird random facts about her? Do I have her first two, not-that-good albums that are no longer available on Spotify? Have I been receiving messages like this from my friends?:



Yes, yes, and ahahaha oh my, yes. I never go to concerts except like…