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Tweeting The L Word

Work is deathly boring today (Halloween pun kind of!), so here is my unsolicited post capturing pretty much everything I tweeted about The L Word, the show that carves your heart out with a spork, then throws its head back and laughs.

 All you need to know is that Tina and Bette have been together seven years at the beginning of the show and are the cutest ever, and then Bette cheats on Tina at the end of season one and EVERYTHING GOES TO HELL AND THERE IS NO RETURNING. (...until season 5). Oh, and also Jenny is the worst.
Season 1 Tibette (it's the ship name, damnit)
Seasons 5/6 Tibette
Seasons 2 through 4

 TWEETS:

 -How my day was supposed to go: clean room, get life in order. How my day went: watched 12 episodes of The L Word. So that's great.

 -"I don't want a relationship with you; I just wanna be with you all the time." #stillwatchingthelword

 -Wait, Bette and Tina make out while stuck in an elevator? Is this show fanfic on film? IS IT? (yes) 

 -me: "GUESS WHAT I MARATHONED? The L Word." Doug (who has to talk to me all the time): "Noooooo!"

 -"Bette and Tina -- whom you will be hearing a lot about--" "Nope."

 -Wrapped in a blanket crying "No-ho-hoooo Tina and Beeeette!" #thelword

 -This show lures you in with cuteness and then stabs you in the heart.

 -If Bette and Tina don't get back together soon, I'm gonna punch a baby.

 -Well. Everything horrible ever is happening in the s1 finale of The L Word.

 -The L Word: We don't do "happy."

 -Tina hired a lawyer and I've cried three times.

 -The first episode of s2 is called Life, Loss, Leaving. Because more sadness was needed after the season finale. SCREW YOU SHOW.

 -I like how the one guy in s2 of The L Word is a disgusting asshole. Because, y'know. Men.

 -This is the most upset tv has made me since Donna Noble.

 -Imma just be over here rewriting The L Word so that Tina/Bette get married in season 2 and have hilarious home improvement misadventures.

 -The L Word's message: "Lesbians are a bummer all the time. All. The. Time."

 -"What if we have a girl strip while crying, then another girl'll watch her father die, then another'll cry about her relationship ending?"

 -My method for watching this show is to do other shit until Tina shows up. Then it's fullscreen time.

 -Omg someone fire Jenny. Not even Mia Kirshner. Just Jenny.

 -Whenever I ponder finishing s2 of The L Word, my brain goes 'Sure, if you want to stay up until 2 a.m. and WEEP TIL YOUR TEARS ARE GONE.'

 -Whenever something happens at an imagined circus on The L Word, skip that part. Just skip it.

 -And now Jenny's talking to fucking manatees. WHY JENNY.

 -"I was hoping there'd be a special feature on the DVD to remove her from all scenes." - Jeff on Jenny 

 -Remember when Jenny made two amazing speeches to Mark and was briefly not a terrible character? I remember that.

 -I'm basically not invested in anything other than Tina being pretty.

 -"Here are Tina and Bette. Care about them. Aren't they amazing?" *the show pulls out ice pick, stabs you* "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR CARING."

 -I am never going to get over the Bette/Tina proposal scene on The L Word. Neveeeeer.

 -Bette and Tina on season 5 of The L Word are composed of fluffy bunnies and rainbows and baby unicorns.

 -Bette and Tina on s5 of The L Word are like sparkling dew on a meadow of sunshine-filled happiness.

 -Wow. The show ACTUALLY just said "Fuck you, Alice."
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