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Things I Did Today Instead of Reading Daniel Deronda

I have a head cold.

I almost never get sick, so when I do, I turn into a dying operatic heroine and shun all contact with the outside world. (incidentally, if you received a voicemail from me, that does not count, because what I actually mean is I never went outside today)

It is nigh on 11 PM and I have read approximately six pages of Daniel Deronda. I was supposed to read at least 25. Here is what I did today other than read it, although I did slavishly cart it around with me from room to room as I did these other activities:


1. Finished season four of Arrested Development

2. Listened to one and a half episodes of Serial because my friend Katie-Anne keeps texting me to finish it so we can talk about it, as apparently she is Leslie Knope and I am Ann Perkins.

3. Spent half an hour looking for the right GIF to illustrate this, could not find it, but since 98% of the time, she's Ann Perkins and I am Leslie, here are two GIFs I DID find to illustrate that point: 



 4. Caught up on the rest of season 1 of the webseries Carmilla, which yes, is based on the 19th century novella by Sheridan Le Fanu and is about lesbian vampires and yes, I'm watching because Tumblr made me with its insistent GIFs.

Right. Like I'm then NOT gonna watch that

5. Finished reading 1 Chronicles, which has the excellent quote in a prayer of King David, "I know, my God, that you test the heart and are pleased with integrity" (ok, upon rereading that, maybe it is not super-cool to everyone, but I find it encouraging) and started The Old Testament: A Very Short Introduction, where I was surprised! but also delighted to learn that the Old Testament was, in early Judaism, split into the Law, the Prophets, and the Writings, which in Hebrew were Torah, Neviim, and Ketuvim, and since there are no VOWELS in Hebrew, this is TNK, but they call it Tanak. So the Jewish Bible is called Tanak. New learning!

6. Made zucchini pasta with the Veggetti.

Mmm

7. Watched the entire "Becoming Chaz" documentary on Netflix about Cher's son Chaz Bono because I hoped it would answer questions about the female-to-male transgender process without me having to feel nosy and privacy-invading by googling it. Mainly just succeeded in making me feel sad about Chaz's relationship with his girlfriend.

8. Made my dad talk to me on the phone about the Veggetti for about ten minutes.

9. Texted Katie-Anne after listening to Serial that she's the person I would call if I had to move a dead body. (I feel like she has access to more people who wouldn't ask questions than my other friends do)

10. Watched a video that was entirely focused on "Gay Stew" (aka KStew aka Kristen Stewart). Then spent way too much time looking up Kristen Stewart, despite not particularly liking her, and deciding that yeah, she seems pretty gay. But tumblr would want me to here say that whether she is or not is her journey, and I should not be nosing. BUT I AM, and this picture is the gayest:


That is her and former "best friend" from the Twilight movies, Nikki Reed. Their tumblr tag is nikkistew. And I mean. Y'know. It's pretty gay.

11. Got really, really excited about going out tomorrow to buy butternut squash. Called my voice teacher to discuss this.

And then, obviously, there's also the writing of this post, which took an overly long time. Daniel Deronda, I am super-intimated by you and must come up with a strategy by which I might creep up on you and understand you fully and not feel like George Eliot would think I was a complete idiot if she walked up and saw me reading it with a furrowed brow and confused head tilt.

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