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Walt Whitman and Thomas Hardy would be terrible roommates

You all ever read any Thomas Hardy? I did. I read Tess of the d'Urbervilles (which is an IRONIC TITLE, by the way), and if you will remember, did this to the cover because the whole thing is too fucking sad:



You think anyone was ever like: 

"Hey Tom. Tom. Tom. Want to maybe take a walk in a glade? Drink some vitamin C? Get a happier outlook on life?"

"No."

In my continuing If Authors from the Past Were College Roommates series (I know two does not really equal a series, leave me alone), let's look at Walt Whitman and Thomas Hardy.

Whitman: "Eighteen years and now I am here!
Eighteen years and all so radiant
Eighteen years of life, and now we need to figure out
Who gets the desk by the window."

Hardy: 


Whitman: "I am a Nautilus, an ever-curving shell
Life is joyous and I will Celebrate it
Let's go to that luau they're having this evening.
(also I really want that desk)"

Hardy: 













Whitman: "Have you pondered the atoms of the universe? Have you figured out your
    class schedule?
Have you decided if we will be investing in a mini-fridge?
These things are important, Hardy."

Hardy:















Whitman: "I sing myself, and what I sing
Informs you that I will be taking the desk 
Since you are refusing to answer me.
And also if there is a sock on our faux oak door in the future
Go away."

Hardy:












Whitman: "A child said Where is the luau? searching for it with
Wide eyes;
How could I answer the child? I do not know any
   more than he.
I probably should have grabbed a flyer."

Hardy: 











Whitman: "I do contain multitudes. Now I go down
To ask the front desk guy -- whose hair is bright as a duckling's eiderdown
Where the luau is. Do not mess with my things.
   And maybe take a shower."

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