Skip to main content

Lady Audley's Rip-Roaring Secret Continues: "The indolent recklessness of intoxication" is my new favorite phrase

Oh man SO MUCH IS HAPPENING amirite? At the end of chapter 32, I was all "DAMNIT I should've ended the week's reading here," but then chapter 33 happened and BOOM.

Some of you might have noticed the possibly anti-feminist (but who can TELL in 1862) paragraph that mentions "pearl powder and Mrs. Rachael Levison," and I STRONGLY ENCOURAGE YOU to look at this fun post about her. Also, maybe we should all become best friends with the author of that site? Maybe? Catherine Pope, call me. We'll do lunch over Skype. Because you live in England.

[I]f she thinks that I love her, and has been led to think so by any word or act of mine, I'm in duty bound to let her think so to the end of time

THAT'S SOME BULLSHIT, VICTORIANS.

The rest of the post will be a summary of what has happened with Lady Audley, aided by Liz Lemon GIFs as I have decided she and Lady Audley are the same person.

So Robert's away from Audley Court, but then finds out Sir Michael is sick, and he OBVIOUSLY suspects Lady Audley of maybe-almost-killing-him, so he shuffles over there in a jiffy, only to find Lady Audley sitting by Sir Michael's bed like "What? No, I'm very concerned about my husband. Oh hey, why were you talking to that guy who knows like 1% of my past? Did he tell you anything? Probably nothing, right? Did you see my golden ringlets?"

Lady Audley confessional booth

Robert's super-gay for Clara Talboys, so he sticks to his quest to discover Lady Audley's Big Dark Secret, which we THINK we know, but then there's an old letter from before she probably killed George, where she says to her father "You know the secret which is the key to my life." Which...huh.

PERHAPS

Robert heads back to Audley Court, sees Clara again, who STILL has "[his] lost friend's face" and is his "beautiful companion" whose "thraldom" he must escape. He then tips his hand to Lady Audley AGAIN BECAUSE HE'S AN IDIOT. He seems to think she'll just up and leave despite ALREADY probably having committed murder to keep all her fancy shit. 




So Robert tells her he's going to Reveal All to Sir Michael, and Lady Audley basically loses her mind and goes all Lady Macbeth while trying to figure out how to not lose EVERYTHING and have to live in poverty like her mother UGH her mother don't even bring her up.

The conversation seems to go like this

So then she super-unsuspiciously is like "Oh hey, Phoebe Marks, what was that? Robert's staying at your inn? And it's basically built of oily rags and matches? How about we just wander over on this frigid March evening at midnight and have a look-see?"

Then she tries to murder two people by burning them alive.


And spends a chapter trying to look innocent but WHO SHOULD WALK IN AT THE END OF OUR READING BUT UNBURNED-TO-DEATH ROBERT AUDLEY.




Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Minithon: The Mini Readathon, January 11th, 2020

The minithon is upon us once more! Minithons are for the lazy. Minithons are for the uncommitted. Minithons are for us. The minithon lasts 6 hours (10 AM to 4 PM CST), therefore making it a mini readathon, as opposed to the lovely Dewey's 24 Hour Readathon and 24in48, both of which you should participate in, but both of which are a longer commitment than this, the Busy Watching Netflix person's readathon. By 'read for six hours' what's really meant in the minithon is "read a little bit and eat a lot of snacks and post pictures of your books and your snacks, but mostly your snacks." We like to keep it a mini theme here, which mainly means justifying your books and your snacks to fit that theme. Does your book have children in it? Mini people! Does it have a dog! Mini wolf! Does it have pencils? Mini versions of graphite mines! or however you get graphite, I don't really know. I just picture toiling miners. The point is, justify it or don't...

Book Blogger Hop, Pt II

All right. The question for this week is:  "Do you read only one book at a time, or do you have several going at once?" Oh-ho my. I have an issue with book commitment. I start a new book, and it's exciting and fresh, and I get really jazzed about it, and then 20% of the way through, almost without fail, I start getting bored and want to start another book. I once had seven books going at the same time, because I kept getting bored and starting new ones. It's a sickness. Right now I'm being pretty good and working on The Monk , Northanger Abbey , Kissing the Witch , and I'm about to start Waiting for the Barbarians since my friend lent it to me. But The Monk and NA are basically books I only read when I'm at work, so I don't see it so much as working on four books, as having books in different locales. Yes. This entry wasn't as good as some of the others, but I shall rally on the morrow. Yes I shall.

Harry Potter 2013 Readalong Signup Post of Amazingness and Jollity

Okay, people. Here it is. Where you sign up to read the entire Harry Potter series (or to reminisce fondly), starting January 2013, assuming we all survive the Mayan apocalypse. I don't think I'm even going to get to Tina and Bette's reunion on The L Word until after Christmas, so here's hopin'. You guys know how this works. Sign up if you want to. If you're new to the blog, know that we are mostly not going to take this seriously. And when we do take it seriously, it's going to be all Monty Python quotes when we disagree on something like the other person's opinion on Draco Malfoy. So be prepared for your parents being likened to hamsters. If you want to write lengthy, heartfelt essays, that is SWELL. But this is maybe not the readalong for you. It's gonna be more posts with this sort of thing: We're starting Sorceror's/Philosopher's Stone January 4th. Posts will be on Fridays. The first post will be some sort of hilar...