Lady Audley's Rip-Roaring Secret Continues: "The indolent recklessness of intoxication" is my new favorite phrase

Oh man SO MUCH IS HAPPENING amirite? At the end of chapter 32, I was all "DAMNIT I should've ended the week's reading here," but then chapter 33 happened and BOOM.

Some of you might have noticed the possibly anti-feminist (but who can TELL in 1862) paragraph that mentions "pearl powder and Mrs. Rachael Levison," and I STRONGLY ENCOURAGE YOU to look at this fun post about her. Also, maybe we should all become best friends with the author of that site? Maybe? Catherine Pope, call me. We'll do lunch over Skype. Because you live in England.

[I]f she thinks that I love her, and has been led to think so by any word or act of mine, I'm in duty bound to let her think so to the end of time

THAT'S SOME BULLSHIT, VICTORIANS.

The rest of the post will be a summary of what has happened with Lady Audley, aided by Liz Lemon GIFs as I have decided she and Lady Audley are the same person.

So Robert's away from Audley Court, but then finds out Sir Michael is sick, and he OBVIOUSLY suspects Lady Audley of maybe-almost-killing-him, so he shuffles over there in a jiffy, only to find Lady Audley sitting by Sir Michael's bed like "What? No, I'm very concerned about my husband. Oh hey, why were you talking to that guy who knows like 1% of my past? Did he tell you anything? Probably nothing, right? Did you see my golden ringlets?"

Lady Audley confessional booth

Robert's super-gay for Clara Talboys, so he sticks to his quest to discover Lady Audley's Big Dark Secret, which we THINK we know, but then there's an old letter from before she probably killed George, where she says to her father "You know the secret which is the key to my life." Which...huh.

PERHAPS

Robert heads back to Audley Court, sees Clara again, who STILL has "[his] lost friend's face" and is his "beautiful companion" whose "thraldom" he must escape. He then tips his hand to Lady Audley AGAIN BECAUSE HE'S AN IDIOT. He seems to think she'll just up and leave despite ALREADY probably having committed murder to keep all her fancy shit. 

So Robert tells her he's going to Reveal All to Sir Michael, and Lady Audley basically loses her mind and goes all Lady Macbeth while trying to figure out how to not lose EVERYTHING and have to live in poverty like her mother UGH her mother don't even bring her up.

The conversation seems to go like this

So then she super-unsuspiciously is like "Oh hey, Phoebe Marks, what was that? Robert's staying at your inn? And it's basically built of oily rags and matches? How about we just wander over on this frigid March evening at midnight and have a look-see?"

Then she tries to murder two people by burning them alive.

And spends a chapter trying to look innocent but WHO SHOULD WALK IN AT THE END OF OUR READING BUT UNBURNED-TO-DEATH ROBERT AUDLEY.