Skip to main content

Neanderthals: Y'know, that entire species of human we maybe killed

I really love Neanderthals.

TELL ME MORE, COMPARISON CHART

This has been a slow-growing love, possibly owing its beginning to the Field Museum's exhibit on the cave paintings of Lascaux, which made me realize what a condescending dick I'd been to People of the Past. I was astounded to learn they had needles and thread and candles. This was almost 20,000 years ago. I'd assumed they just walked around grunting and hitting each other with rocks. But no! They had hats. I don't know why hats are a major sign of civilization, but they are.

I've discussed before how frustrating it is that all this took place in our prehistory. We barely know anything. And what we think we know is probably wrong. A book I have on Cro-Magnon man from like two years ago says modern humans and Neanderthals probably never interacted, and then we find out that basically everyone whose ancestors emigrated from Africa has 3-5% Neanderthal DNA, meaning our ancestors totally did it with Neanderthals.


It bugs me that how our civilization came to be this way is COMPLETELY SHROUDED IN MYSTERY and we're not talking about it. Probably because we can't know anything about it due to the shrouded-in-mystery part. Because People of the Past were apparently too lazy to write shit down. THANKS FOR THE BUFFALO DRAWINGS THOUGH THOSE'RE GREAT.

Thanks also for whatever the hell this is

At some point we decided to structure families the way we do now. At some point men suddenly had way, way more power than women. At some point this was decided. Maybe the women were super-pissed. Maybe they were just happy they were going to survive. We don't know and we will never know until we build a time machine come on people make this happen. Ugh, even if we DID build a time machine, we wouldn't be able to talk with them. We'd probably just get stabbed with spears.

Even in Illinois, we have this sort of infuriating thing. Cahokia Mounds in southern Illinois? Oh, just one of the largest cities of the 1200s. No, no one talks about it. Because we know like nothing about them.

Just disappeared

By the way, Cahokia is four and a half hours from Chicago and someone should drive there with me because there is a museum and MIDWEST HISTORY.

But back to Neanderthals. They existed. A whole other species of human. Do you know what kinds of questions that raises. At the very least theologically, because the Bible doesn't talk about other types of humans. Not that it gets that specific when it's talking about something other than the length of an ephod, but where do other species of humans fall in this whole God-made-man thing? Neanderthals had souls, right? THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT.

You know what the Bible DOES talk about? Nephilim.

The Nephilim were on the earth in those days--and also afterward--when the sons of God went to the daughters of humans and had children by them. They were the heroes of old, men of renown.

THIS IS IN THE BOOK I HOLD FAIRLY SACRED. It's basically like "Oh hey, Greek heroes? Now you have an excuse to believe they were real. Also that CĂș Chulainn guy. And maybe Paul Bunyan, but only if he lived way longer ago."

Basically I just want to go to the Rock of Gibraltar 30,000 years ago and fish with Neanderthals.

It'd probably look exactly like this 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

How to Build a Girl Introductory Post, which is full of wonderful things you probably want to read

Acclaimed (in England mostly) lady Caitlin Moran has a novel coming out. A NOVEL. Where before she has primarily stuck to essays. Curious as we obviously were about this, I and a group of bloggers are having a READALONG of said novel, probably rife with spoilers (maybe they don't really matter for this book, though, so you should totally still read my posts). This is all hosted/cared for/lovingly nursed to health by Emily at As the Crowe Flies (and Reads) because she has a lovely fancy job at an actual bookshop ( Odyssey Books , where you can in fact pre-order this book and then feel delightful about yourself for helping an independent store). Emily and I have negotiated the wonders of Sri Lankan cuisine and wandered the Javits Center together. Would that I could drink with her more often than I have. I feel like we could get to this point, Emily INTRODUCTION-wise (I might've tipped back a little something this evening, thus the constant asides), I am Alice. I enjoy

Harry Potter 2013 Readalong Signup Post of Amazingness and Jollity

Okay, people. Here it is. Where you sign up to read the entire Harry Potter series (or to reminisce fondly), starting January 2013, assuming we all survive the Mayan apocalypse. I don't think I'm even going to get to Tina and Bette's reunion on The L Word until after Christmas, so here's hopin'. You guys know how this works. Sign up if you want to. If you're new to the blog, know that we are mostly not going to take this seriously. And when we do take it seriously, it's going to be all Monty Python quotes when we disagree on something like the other person's opinion on Draco Malfoy. So be prepared for your parents being likened to hamsters. If you want to write lengthy, heartfelt essays, that is SWELL. But this is maybe not the readalong for you. It's gonna be more posts with this sort of thing: We're starting Sorceror's/Philosopher's Stone January 4th. Posts will be on Fridays. The first post will be some sort of hilar

Minithon: The Mini Readathon, January 11th, 2020

The minithon is upon us once more! Minithons are for the lazy. Minithons are for the uncommitted. Minithons are for us. The minithon lasts 6 hours (10 AM to 4 PM CST), therefore making it a mini readathon, as opposed to the lovely Dewey's 24 Hour Readathon and 24in48, both of which you should participate in, but both of which are a longer commitment than this, the Busy Watching Netflix person's readathon. By 'read for six hours' what's really meant in the minithon is "read a little bit and eat a lot of snacks and post pictures of your books and your snacks, but mostly your snacks." We like to keep it a mini theme here, which mainly means justifying your books and your snacks to fit that theme. Does your book have children in it? Mini people! Does it have a dog! Mini wolf! Does it have pencils? Mini versions of graphite mines! or however you get graphite, I don't really know. I just picture toiling miners. The point is, justify it or don't