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Monkalong Part I: I lust for the enjoyment of your person

Who the hell is Matthew Lewis?

No no, not him.

The author of The Monk (1796) wrote this ridiculous, ridiculous book when he was 19. He also became a member of Parliament the year it came out. He obviously just took the Gothic movement and ran with it, and he wrote a number of other Gothic works (mostly plays) before dying of yellow fever at age 42.

The Monk is THE BEST AND WORST and we're reading it because it makes no sense and has demon nuns and should be read. This week was chapters 1 and 2 where the following occurred:

It's somewhere in Spain and there's a famous friar about to speak at a church, so no one can get a seat, INCLUDING an old (read 50 year old) woman and her veiled young beautiful niece, but two knights see the niece's neck and're like "hey, there's probably some nice stuff under there" and give up their seats just in case. There's some introducing, some awkward and pretty aggro flirting, and the knights find out she's there to ask a Marquis to keep paying for her to live in a castle. So say we all.

This Marquis is having some secret liaison with a nun named Agnes (rename in next draft, Agnes is not a good sexytimes name), but Famous Friar finds out and sentences her to....something harsh. They don't detail what. Then she curses him to learn what human frailty is and THAT IMMEDIATELY HAPPENS.

Because there's a young man in the monastery who keeps like a towel wrapped around his head as far as I can guess, and he's super-into Famous Friar, but then it's revealed ohhhh shit, he's a lady. An apparently innocent but PROBABLY DEVIOUS AND MAYBE SATANIC lady. Famous Friar tries to resist her for like two seconds, but she's ridic hot, so instead it turns into:

There's a lot of bosoms happening here. Not that I'm complaining. But the 18th century knew what it liked and what it liked was apparently ladyboobs.

The section stopped at them making out. With boobs obvs mentioned, because this is Matthew Lewis, and I think we should all just get used to seeing them because there's a lot left of the book.

[T]he Altar sank down, and in its place appeared an abyss vomiting forth clouds of flame. Uttering a loud and terrible cry the Monster plunged into the Gulph, and in his fall attempted to drag Antonia with him.

You guys, but have you actually been PICTURING this book?

I'm pretty sure The Monk is gonna be the best October read ever, and I hope there're ghosts and vampires and stuff. WE SHALL SEE.


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