New Readalong! Let's Do It!...But Not Until Next Year.

Ok, I don't know about all the participants (massive number that it was of...four?), but The Help readalong was totally fun despite The Help not being the most stellar book on the planet. So LET US DO ANOTHER ONE. In January. The only issue being that I have no idea whatsoever what we would read. 

So. I open the floor for suggestions. I'd kind of prefer a book that isn't hugely popular right now, as that is easier to get at the library AND they will let us renew it, but I guess I could always NOT be a cheapskate and just buy a copy. I want to read The Marriage Plot, but I probably won't actually get to that for like two years.

SUGGEST! SUGGEST, BLOGGERS! I'm bad at this sort of thing.

I leave you with an amazing gif that is, my friends, Bellatrix Lestrange and Molly Weasley patching up their differences:

The Help Readalong Pt V: The Helpening

You know how Chicago's called the Windy City, and then some smartass says that it's called that because of our bluster about definitely being chosen for the 1893 World's Fair? Yeah, it's also fricking windy here. You don't quite understand why people in Olden Times anthropomorphized the wind until it's shoving you against a bridge railing as you walk over the river. "STOP TRYING TO KILL ME, WIND." But anyway. The Help.

Wait, I need to do more for the final post?

I mean...that scene is pretty much the best one in the book. I didn't expect anything truly bad to happen at the end, because it's popular with suburban moms, and those books don't end sadly. Those books end with women being Empowered, and this had, count 'em, THREE empowerment endings. Four if we count Lou Anne. Sure, let's count her.

I don't know. It just wasn't that good. It wasn't infuriatingly terrible. The writing was decent, but just not good. Skeeter goes through an unlikely character change (a hippie? really?); Hilly remains the Essence of Evil; and NOT ENOUGH CELIA AND MINNY AT THE END. Celia just kind of gets written out after it's made clear she's not going to fire Minny ever. Boo. Like I want to spend that time with Skeeter and her lameass problems instead.

So, 3/5? Meaning it was fine and had some nice parts? Yeah, that.

Wherein I Feel Like Wearing '90s Plaid and Listening to Nirvana

You know when you had a three day week and then you go back to work and you have a five day week staring back at you and you just kind of sit listlessly at your desk and glare at the phone every time it rings?

What? No, that's totally not me today. No, I'm way chipper. But for reals, this:




But I also don't want to be home, because I've been home for too long, so if I go there, I'll just be moping in a different place. So instead I have chosen option 3, which is to mope on my blog. Hello!

I mainly just want to sit here and be listless, but that's not a fun blog entry and it's been SO LONG SINCE I'VE UPDATED, which you might not have realized, but I do because I update all the time and it's been something ridiculous like five days. FIVE. Okay, let's think of a topic.

Twilight. Man, let's get into Twilight today. The craze is pretty much over, thank God, so this hopefully won't devolve into some kind of vitriolic diatribe, but let's address what's appealing about this series aside from the super-obvious "omg Edwaaaard!" factor (note: you do not need to find him attractive, but enough teenage girls/older mothers do that we can consider this a legit factor). 

I've gone off on enough rants about it that I don't feel the need to defend my hatred of it. It's terrible. It's ruining our younger, dumber people, and it's promoted by Christian moms while they condemn Harry Potter. And that sucks. But have I seen all the movies? Well, yeah. Three of them in theaters. Why? Because 1) Not having to try to struggle through Meyer's text makes the basic story a lot more palatable. 2) Who doesn't like seeing teenagers be all angsty? 3) When there's dialogue like this:

Edward: I'll see you at the altar.

Bella: I'll be the one in white.

you get to groan with your friends, and that, good people, is fun times.

I even own Eclipse. On DVD/blu ray. I own it because it goes into characters' BACKSTORIES and involves period costumes and these things make me happy. I love backstory. Also whenever I don't want to think about, y'know, real life shit, I can put that on and see Jacob glaring balefully at Edward because Bella chose to go to prom with him which is UNFAIR because Jacob spent so much time being a good friend to her and how can she like him how MY TEENAGE EMOTIONS.

Remember when you were ages 11-15 and everything seemed like an enormous deal, and then you went to college and people who were dicks you just kind of stopped hanging out with, and the biggest drama was that you were out of Coke and the convenience store was two blocks away and it was really cold out? 

It's entirely possible other people had more exciting college careers than I did.

Basically, I think reading the books actively pollutes your brain, but the movies are kind of fun in a these-are-terrible-movies sort of way.

Dr. Seuss, You Clever Old Man

First off, I want this. And will do dastardly things to obtain it:

(if you are desirous of this print as well, it can be found here on Etsy...and no, I do not advertise on my blog. I just post shit that I like)

Thanksgiving is upon us! Most of us. Not you European/everywhere-but-America people. I enjoy that the American holiday tradition is that we just eat a lot. Like, that's the goal. And family togetherness or whatever, but mainly the eating thing.

So. After tomorrow, we'll be in full-on Christmas season, which brings us to gifts. And since this is a book blog, let's talk about book gifts. Does anyone buy them? I tend to be nervous because it feels like giving someone a job to do. "Here's a book. I expect you to read it and then discuss it with me to prove you love me." 

Not to be all nosy, but anyone gotten a book as a gift that made you way way happy? Hopefully something you didn't ask for, as obviously you'd be happy if you asked someone for something and then got it.

I'm slightly cheating, because I DID, in fact, ask my brother to get me this, post-graduation from college, but I didn't realize how important it would be to me. Which was VERY. I asked him to get me Oh, the Places You'll Go!, because EVERYONE gets it when they graduate, and damnit, I'm not going to be left out of things. 

But then after I first moved to Chicago, back in 2008, I was temping for a while and very, very sad and very worried about money and all that fun stuff, and that book helped me ENORMOUSLY. Especially this passage:

Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don’t.
Because, sometimes, you won’t.

I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.

You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in a Lurch.

You’ll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a Slump.

And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.

Love. Reading it still makes me feel better. Because those things happen, but they are temporary. Which it's hard to remember sometimes. I should do this to my brother the next time I see him:

The Help Readalong: Week Four. We Are Getting INTO This.

SO CLOSE. We are so close to being done. And just about time, too, because frankly, I'm getting sick of Skeeter to a huge degree. And SO MUCH OF THE STORY IS HER POV. Which I guess makes sense because that's what Stockett can relate to the most, but OMG I don't care about her social troubles or her boyfriend or how she's been fired as editor of the Junior League newsletter.

I just don't care.

This whole section...I dunno, things seemed to start getting really annoying. Like when Skeeter's listening to the radio and this happens: "I ease into the Tote-Sum store parking lot and listen to the song. It's better than anything I've ever heard....A voice in a can tells me his name is Bob Dylan."

I just went "Really? REALLY?" And yes. Obviously time for another gif:

I see what you did there

Trying to make characters sympathetic or seem forward-thinking by having them like things that are NOW considered amazing before everyone thought they were IRRITATES ME TO NO END. Mainly because it's cheap and stupid. So that angered me up for most of the rest of the chapter.

I don't even know what to say about the rest...I still love Minny and Celia and want them to have a reality show. Don't tell me you wouldn't watch that shit. They beat a crazy naked man with a fire poker. That's good television. When Minny brought her a tray of ham sandwiches, all I could think was '...damn, a whole tray of ham sandwiches.' And now seeing that again, it's all I want and might possibly influence my lunch plans.

The what-did-Minny-do revelation was eh. I kind of assumed that's what she did? So it was just sort of gross seeing it in print. The Constantine thing was more interesting, but left me in a similar "meh" state. I'm not that surprised by Skeeter's mom, especially in the context of her time. The only way she was being truly ridiculous was telling Constantine she couldn't see her daughter anymore, and I'll bet that could've been smoothed over after everyone had calmed down. So it all just seems kind of unnecessary and anticlimactic.

My new go-to label for passages where Hilly's being awful is "Hilly, don't be such a bitch." And because Hilly has NO REDEEMING FEATURES other than apparently loving her kids, this is used a lot. Here, I made you all a picture:

"Now that I've stolen the gold mine from the Widow Jessup, I shall reign
as queen over this town. Mwahahaha!"

One of the last straws for me was the line "I don't underestimate how far she would go to make sure I suffered the rest of my life." Hm? Why is that, Skeeter? Is Hilly a perhaps not-so-nice person? Oh, this hasn't been mentioned FIVE MILLION TIMES, so thank you for clarifying that for us.

This damn book better end soon. And it does! Chapters 29-34 for our next and final week, where we can rag on this for the last time.

Look at That, Not Even a Humorous David Tennant GIF

MY RESTRAINT, LET ME SHOW YOU IT. Because Doctor Who minisodes have been uploaded to youtube, fresh from the UK (the DVDs don't come out here until tomorrow) and let me tell you, the teenage girls on tumblr have been expressive about their feelings. Personally, I've just been rather twitchy and excited, but I still want to post gifs from the episodes everywhere and SHALL NOT, as this is a book blog and has nothing to do with Doctor Who, thankyouverymuch. 

Except for that dream I had the other night where Alex Kingston asked if I wanted her to read aloud from Sophie's Choice and I went "OMGYES" and then she did and it was awesome.

I'm going to pick nine books from my Extremely Lengthy TBR List on goodreads and post them here, and if any of them suck I want you to let me know, yes? Very cool. Okay:

A Great and Terrible Beauty, Libba Bray - I read Beauty Queens, and unlike some snobby snobs out there, highly enjoyed it. Or really enjoyed it. Maybe the latter. But what I most like is her sense of humor, and I sense this is somewhat humorless? So I am trepidatious? (I have been informed by some sources that 'trepidatious' is not a word, but I defy them all)

The Book Thief, Markus Zusak - People rave about this to a degree I find frightening. Is it going to make me all sad about the Holocaust?

My Cousin Rachel, Daphne du Maurier - I'm actually a bit 'eh' on Rebecca, but I find myself liking du Maurier anyway. So there's this. Which is possibly good.

Liberating Paris, Linda Bloodworth Thomason - THIS IS BY THE LADY WHO CREATED DESIGNING WOMEN. It is the only reason I have it on there. Because Designing Women is wonderful and amazing and I will marathon episodes with ANY OF YOU if you're ever in town.

The Book of Lost Things, John Connolly - After reading The Gates, I was ready to marry John Connolly, because really, if you're funny I'm yours, but IS this funny? Do I ask that question too much? Perhaps. BUT I MUST KNOW. I mean, I can handle The Serious, but I do not prefer it.

The Lost City of Z, David Grann - I saw something about this on History's Mysteries, and since The History Channel is such a non-sensationalistic, generally accurate historical resource (read: ALL THESE THINGS ARE FALSE), I guess I could consider my research done, but JUST in case, there's always this book.

Love, Anarchy, and Emma Goldman, Candace Falk - Last March/April I went through a bit of an Emma Goldman phase. And then I found out she's buried in the outskirts of Chicago and dragged Julie there and made her take this picture of me (note the Soviet headscarf even though Goldman was, in the end, opposed to the Soviets' way of ruling).

I want to note that my mother had this picture laminated. I don't know why she didn't want to frame it, but it's sitting by the phone on her front porch.

To avoid awkwardness, no, it was not meant (completely) seriously.

If You Have to Cry, Go Outside, Kelly Cutrone - I think I just want someone to yell at me, and this promises to do so.

Chime, Franny Billingsley - What up, internet? There seems to be some controversy around this, although I guess it's more because of the horrible thing that happened to Lauren Myracle at the National Book Awards. But what do I know? Maybe this book's all crazy-controversial in and of itself (although it seems like Shine's the more likely candidate there).

I Wasn't Going to Update, But...

I started listening to this and then I thought 'Who am I to keep this from the Good People of the Internet?' So here's your Friday '80s youtube vid.

IT'S ALL IMAGES OF LIGHTNING AND RAIN. Someone put that together. Because when that person hears songs, they take them literally. And bless them for it. 

Your bookish topic for today is: 19th c. Lady Authors if They Lived Today and Were Teenage Girls. What Would They Listen to on Spotify?

I have a very old journal entry that states quite clearly that Charlotte Bronte would get very into Whitney Houston, so even IF, on further reflection, that doesn't totally make sense to me, I have to stick with it.

George Eliot would be into intelligent, weird shit. And since my playlists are variations on Celine Dion, Britney Spears and Kelly Clarkson (...you think I kid, but I do not), I can't name any of that. She'd like The Decemberists, but they're a bit too mainstream, y'know? OH. And she'd totally listen to old collections of Songs of the Labor Movement.

Ugh Emily Bronte would like Regina Spektor when she was like 13, and then she'd get into darker, weirder stuff.

Charlotte would secretly lip sync to Whitney Houston songs in her room. "THE GREATEST LOVE OF ALLLLL IS HAPPENING TO MEEE"

Jane Austen. Hm. Are there any funny but socially critical rock bands? I feel like that'd be her jam.

Yeah. I did this.

And now my search history has "teenage girl on computer." It feels wrong.

(p.s. George Sand would listen to Edith Piaf while sipping cognac in the bath at age 15, because George Sand doesn't give a fuck)

Books. They're Pretty Great.

You all miss me when I don't post, don't you? *waggles eyebrows* Yesterday I was so exhausted that I hated pretty much everything ever (except for this, because how can you hate that?), but I went home and napped and read some of The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland, which made me giggle, and now things are just peachy. So I bid you all hello. Now. Let's talk about books.

Who allowed me access to gifs? This should
not have happened.

Last Sunday, I was reading bits of various things I'm in the middle of, and all of a sudden the sole thought that came into my head was "Shit, I love books." If I might quote from The Thirteenth Tale, which is quite enjoyable if not the best book ever and you all should read it because it says lovely things like this:

People disappear when they die. Their voice, their laughter, the warmth of their breath. Their flesh. Eventually their bones. All living memory of them ceases. This is both dreadful and natural. Yet for some there is an exception to this annihilation. For in the books they write they continue to exist. We can rediscover them. Their humor, their tone of voice, their moods. Through the written word they can anger you or make you happy. They can comfort you. They can perplex you. They can alter you. All this, even though they are dead. Like flies in amber, like corpses frozen in the ice, that which according to the laws of nature should pass away is, by the miracle of ink on paper, preserved. It is a kind of magic.

Isn't that just wonderful? "Huzzah!" sayeth I. Because I'm one of those people who gets all weepy in church when the service says "With believers in every time and place," because then you think back on HUMANITY and how we are LINKED and it is just great. I will also choose this moment to mention the time I was at the French Medieval exhibit at the Art Institute and started crying in front of a tapestry and just made it awkward for everyone. Because people in the 1500s (specifically named people whose names I forget) had had that hanging in their hall, and they had LOOKED at it with their 500-year-old eyes, and then it was in the Art Institute and people now were looking at it, and -- oh, I shall get all emotional again.

So. Slight digression but not quite. Books are amazing, because Jane Austen can sit at her little desk in 1811 and write things down, and they can make teenage girls irate or all swoony in 2011 (hey! I didn't even pick 1811 on purpose! lookatthat!). George Eliot's opinions stand firm because she wrote them down, and Barnes & Noble considers her important enough to publish in their Classics Collection, ensuring people keep reading her. And not only do said opinions stand firm, they INFLUENCE us today. As do countless other authors, obviously. I mean, I love television, but I don't look to it or film for actual, deeply-held beliefs.

What was particularly delighting me on Sunday was that I had this pile of books, and each one had a different tone and purpose. Books are just so damn variable. And we're never going to be able to read all the ones we want to, but as my Victorian lit prof said in college, it's a much better problem to have too much to read than too little.

The Help Readalong: Week Three. Spoilery Things Again.

I kind of feel like Hilly's some vaudeville villain. Like she actually has some sweeping black moustache and every time she does something particularly evil, she rubs her hands together and says "mwahahaha." She's just ridiculously awful. Like a Southern 1960s version of Dolores Umbridge.

Look at how far we are! My Kindle informs me it's 59% of the way through. Which is excellent, because this is a damn long book. And of course, I'd like to remind you all that if you've already read it, or want to jump in now, other points of view are welcome. Especially since my particular opinions are going to continue to primarily be composed of gifs proclaiming my love of Celia and Minny (and Mr. Johnny! oh, how wonderful he is!):

I fully admit that I started tearing up when all the maids started walking by Skeeter and telling her they'd help with the book. DISPLAYS OF UNITY AND LOVE, you always make me cry. This extends as far as that scene in Legally Blonde 2 when the Delta Nu phone tree is activated and they all march on Washington for animal rights. Yeah, I've seen that movie a few times.

I marked this passage:

“I was sick and I know that’s no excuse, but I was feeling real poor and…” She starts sobbing then, like the worst thing she’s ever done in her life is yell at her maid. 

“Alright,” I say. “Ain’t nothing to boo-hoo over.” 

And then she hugs me tight around the neck until I kind of pat her on the back and peel her off. “Go on, set down,” I say. “I’ll fix you some coffee.” 

I guess we all get a little snippy when we’re not feeling good.

with "MINNY AND CELIA LOVE FOR ALWAYS." Which is accurate. And OMG: "And it stings, not because I haven’t been yelled at before. I just haven’t been yelled at by Miss Celia yet."

I want them to be best friends forever and Leroy'll stop drinking and they'll have barbecues together and Minny's kids'll play with Celia's and NOTHING SAD WILL EVER HAPPEN TO THEM AGAIN.

Speaking of happier things, Lou Anne Templeton! O ye who smiles too much! Look at you, being all awesome! ALSO, Stockett, you crafty wench, look at you constructing high tension scenes like Skeeter leaving her satchel. I was on a bus reading that and almost lost my shit. "WHY DID YOU LEAVE IT, SKEETER!!" my mind thundered as I stared bug-eyed at the Kindle app on my phone. Yeah. That Stockett knows what she's doing. She's not the greatest author ever, but my interest has been maintained.

Chapters 20-28 for next Tuesday, kiddos.

Delightful Fairy Folk or Sad Holocaust Talk

So I found out last night that when faced with reading either The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland or Sophie's Choice, I will always opt to read about a little girl wading through piles of gold and consorting with wyverns. In my defense, Sophie's Choice is currently alternating (hah! alternating current) between stories of the author's first sexual experience and Rudolf Hess's invention of the gas chambers, so it's not really at an "Oh I TOTALLY want to pick this up right now" kind of place.

No, I am operating on an I HAVE DEADLINES reading schedule right now, which means I keep having to figure out which book has precedence, because I obviously need to finish things before 2012. Not doing so will not be tolerated. By me. But, while I have to finish Sophie's Choice; Speak, Memory; Understanding the Woman of Mozart's Operas  and State By State by the end of the year, I also have to read appx. nine chapters of The Help each week, and the dilemma last night was brought about by the realization that The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland is due back at the library today and I can't renew it because some bastard requested it.* 

So now I have to pay 20 cents a day until I finish it, and since my hold-on-to-those-Beanie-Babies-and-they'll-be-worth-something theory hasn't panned out yet, I am not made of money. Plus that book's way short and really fun and a lot less depressing to read than Mr. Holocaust + Sexual Feelings Book. Not that I'm anti-sexual feelings. I just, as previously stated, prefer that they revolve around ladies in corsets.

Bow chicka bow bow

Anyway, expect much panicking and flailing come December, because despite setting myself very rigid deadlines, I also suck at keeping them. And Nabokov is HARD, damnit. Did I ever tell you all I took a class on him in college just because my favorite professor was teaching it? And we had to read eight of his books? EIGHT. I have read as many Nabokov novels as Dickens. That is unacceptable.  Because I want to squish Dickens' novels, and Nabokov's I pretty much tolerate at best. But I begrudgingly admit he isn't bad, so I'm going to read his damn autobiography, which will force me to think about every single word he's chosen and will not have any fun character names, like Mrs. Pardiggle.

Let me end this with a Doctor Who gif, because I can and because you all should watch that show (I LOVE IT SO MUCH):

*(i'm sure they're actually very nice)

Off the Shelf Hideously Long List

I am almost embarrassed that what I consider to be a huge commitment (30 books) is, in fact, classified as no more than 'Making a Dent' in the Off the Shelf challenge, but I suppose that is pretty much exactly what's happening, as my TBR shelf is currently at 150+. Oh my indeed.

So. Here're my proposed 30. Let me know if any are hideously terrible:

Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell (I own this in hardcover and paperback and have yet obviously not read it)

The Reef, Wharton

A Brief History of Time (stolen from my aerospace engineering professor father — suck it, nerds)

Official Book Club Selection, Kathy Griffin (got this in my stocking last Christmas)

Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil

The Looking Glass Wars, Beddor (owned this an embarrassingly long time w/o reading it)

Rules of Civility, Towles

My Boyfriend Wrote a Book About Me (I got terribly excited about this and yet have not gotten around to it yet, boo to me)

The Crimson Petal and the White

Twilight Sleep, Wharton

The Divine Comedy

A Damsel in Distress, Wodehouse

Notre Dame de Paris, Hugo (I am about 2/3 through this, but I stopped in 2007 and never finished it)

Trois Contes, Flaubert

Notes on a Scandal

Little Altars Everywhere (ugh, YES, I loved Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. fine. revoke any good opinion you have of me)

And Then There Were None, Agatha Christie

Founding Brothers: The Revolutionary Generation

Beyond the Spiderwick Chronicles: The Wyrm King (Spiderwick Chronicles rules)

Prep

Henry James, Selected Short Stories

The Grapes of Wrath

The Golden Bough, Frazer

Henry VIII: The King and His Court (owned this for at least ten years)

The Woman in White

Dear Fatty, Dawn French

Cranford

First Meetings, Orson Scott Card

Run, Ann Patchett

Elizabeth & Leicester, Gristwood 

I Wouldn't Have William Styron's Babies, But I'd Have His Books' Babies

Some kind of self-flagellating instinct makes me listen to Rebecca Black's "Friday" when that day comes around. Not that what that's all about.

So I've been on-again, off-again working on Sophie's Choice, but now I'm trying to actually sit down and finish it, and I LOVE it and want to marry it but I'm worried it'll think I'm too young or just not experienced enough because it uses SO MANY WORDS and I don't know them all and that means there's a lack of equality in the relationship.

I'm seriously a giant fan of William Styron now. He's all "Now I'm going to use 'marmoreal'" and I get ExcitedFace and say "Okay! Let me look that up!" and then I learn new words. A Kindle sale a while back had another one of his books for like $3 and I bought it WITHOUT KNOWING THE PLOT because I trust him and his smartness and love of words. Although I should add that I trusted A.S. Byatt implicitly after Possession, and then I read The Game and that trust was totally lost.

Since we're all discussing reading challenges for next year, I'm gonna mention that I very much want to do Bookish Ardour's Off the Shelf challenge because OMG THE BOOKS ON MY SHELVES. I need to stop going to the library, but it's an addiction. It's less financially damaging than a shopping addiction, but then I keep buying books at booksales and then my shelves start sagging and it is NOT a healthy thing. Not for my shelves, anyway, which make me feel guilty whenever I walk past them with new library gettings. 

Anyway, I want to do this challenge, but my workplace has their site blocked as Social Networking (*shakes fist*) so I will sign up later. And I will work on clearing my damn shelves next year.

The Help Readalong: Week Two. Here Be Spoilers

Everyone read their nine chapters? Hurray! Weren't they fun? I enjoyed them. There's a reason these kinds of books are popular, and it's not because they're hard to read.

I have some bullet points of my own, and then since this is supposed to be a readalong, I'd love some kind of discussion to happen. And hopefully some small disagreements. Or big ones, so long as we don't resort to name-calling (unless it's hilarious name-calling):

• Celia and Minny scenes make me want to do this:

• WHERE IS CONSTANTINE OMG SUCH A MYSTERY. I am thoroughly intrigued. Ms. Stockett has baited her hook and I am CAUGHT, damnit.

• "With other people, Hilly hands out lies like the Presbyterians hand out guilt." Hey! Watch it, book!

• Mae Mobley searching for her tail is the cutest thing ever.

• Who's constantly pissed at Miss Leefolt? EVERYONE EVER.

• "After I spent a year dreading it, November eighth finally come." *checks out the date* Well, that was weird.

• Is Skeeter's romantic subplot going to slowly evolve? Will her ill-fated first date perhaps blossom into something real and lasting? PERHAPS? Everyone knows first dates that don't go well are only hilarious precursors to something Epic and Sweeping, because cool people never like each other at first have you not READ any of the Bronte sisters or Austen I feel like we just covered this.

So! How do you feel about characters? Have you had Slightly Uncomfortable feelings because Ms. Stockett is an attractive, blonde white woman and it seems weird she wrote this? Do you find yourself resisting liking the book because then you'd have the same opinion as countless suburban moms? LET US EXPLORE THE HUMAN CONDITION, READERS.

Also, chapters 10-19 for next Tuesday. 

Hunger Games Is Better Than Twilight, But That's Not Really Saying Anything

I certainly hope you all are reading your chapters 1-9 of The Help. *looks stern* Ok, so I'm only on chapter 6, but three more chapters is DOABLE. And there have totally already been parts that've made me want to do this to the characters:

Yes, I'm the adorable kitten in this scenario

I'm like halfway through Mockingjay and sometimes I'm like "SUZANNE COLLINS THIS COULD BE YOUR BEST YET" and sometimes I'm like 

Because I am SUSPICIOUS of her and what she is going to do to the characters. Sure, she made up those characters and some people would say that gives her the right to do what she wants with them, but that is FALSE. Things must end the vague way I've decided in my head, or I shall stomp about angrily.

But now that Katniss is genuinely doing things and not spending all her time being like "*whine* Why can't I just run away with *insert whichever person she's currently the most into* and we'll be happy and -- oh my, I've been forced into acting bravely in yet another dire situation" I'm very happy. And I say this about her with love. Or at least a certain measure of fondness. Not sure I love Katniss. She reminds me of Bella the tiniest bit because she's pretty frequently like "Why are all these men in love with me complicating my life? Ugh." Only she's way, way more complicated and has a genuine personality instead of being an empty shell into which the reader can insert herself and -- yes. Anyway. What I'm saying is Twilight sucks.

Also that I love Peeta. PEETAAAAAA! Don't harm him any more, wench.

Daylight Savings Time is Magical. Also There's a Classics Challenge!

It's after 1 in the morning. People cleverer than I am have decided to take advantage of Daylight Savings Time by getting extra sleep. I, of course, have decided to use it to dance to the Back to the Future soundtrack.

Ok, guys. Prepare to have your face rocked off by my list for the Back to the Classics Challenge of 2012.

Any 19th Century Classic

Barnaby Rudge: A Tale of the Riots of '80, Dickens

Any 20th Century Classic

The Grapes of Wrath, Steinbeck

Reread a classic of your choice

Emma, Austen

A Classic Play

A Doll's House, Ibsen

Classic Mystery/Horror/Crime Fiction

The Woman in White, Wilkie Collins

Classic Romance

The Reef, Wharton

A Classic translated from its original language to your native language

The Divine Comedy, Dante

Classic Award Winner

A Confederacy of Dunces, John Kennedy Toole

Classic set in a country you (realistically speaking) will not visit during your lifetime

Pavilion of Women, Pearl S. Buck (China)

Where I Discuss How I Am Screwed Book-Wise

I finished The Family Fang last night (recommended by Emily at As the Crowe Flies (and Reads)) and it was super-awesome and if it were somehow able to be made a part of my life for forever, I think I'd be ok with that. An element towards the end made me REALLY REALLY ANGRY, but then I was like "Well. It elicited a strong emotion in you and it WASN'T because of bad writing, so that = successful."

I started this blog because of the TBR Challenge. I wanted to have a place to post reviews of the books I finished that wasn't Goodreads. Little did I suspect what this would turn into. "Mwahaha" indeed. But anyway, that challenge means I finish 12 books from my To Be Read pile that've been on my shelves for at least a year. I did all the easy ones first because I'm an idiot. I now have:

Sophie's Choice -  William Styron

Speak, Memory - Nabokov

State By State: A Panoramic Portrait of America

Understanding the Women of Mozart's Operas

I am not a fast reader, people. Upon realizing I'd barely started Sophie's Choice and that to really appreciate Nabokov you have to linger over every one of his sentences (that bastard), I uttered an expletive I will not post here because of the CHILDREN. So much reading! So little time! I need to prepare arias and do my job and celebrate holidays with my extended family! Do you know what my beloved cousins say at Thanksgiving when they find me with a book at their house? "ALICIA. NO READING. Come play Mall Madness."

Is anyone else panicking about finishing up 2011 reading on time? IT IS NOW NOVEMBER. Soon it'll be the Doomsday Year! After the world ends how am I going to explain to Edith Wharton that despite owning it for four years I never got around to Twilight Sleep?? It will be embarrassing. 

Wherein I Have Many Opinions

I get disappointed when people don't update daily. This is mainly because my job involves a lot of sitting around trying to find things to read. So perhaps others are busy doing "productive" things that aren't blogging, but because I can only truly see things from my own perspective, I am now blogging despite not having any clear subject about which to blog.

What about the Brontes! Let's discuss them, oh let's do! (and no, I'm not umlauting them -- deal)

I think my second blog post here compared the Bronte family to sea turtles, so rather than do that tired old thing again, here're my uninformed opinions on the three sisters who managed to remain not-dead for longer than the rest of the family:

1. Charlotte. Ah yes. Charlotte. Was I obsessed with her at age 16? Yes. Did I have make believe conversations with her? Yes. Did I read anything of hers beyond Jane Eyre? Of course not, I'm not a weirdo English major. 

But for reals, I tried Shirley and it was all "And then there were two curates in the house visiting the young lady and here's what they said and oh, there's also the Industrial Revolution and Issues That Faced Northern England That Are No Longer Relevant." You know what WASN'T there? A crazy lady in an attic and a lone governess trying to navigate her creepy gothic atmosphere. Interest LOST.

16 is pretty much the only age at which it's acceptable to be Jane Eyre-obsessed. And it's PERFECT for that age because it's all EMOTIONS and FEELINGS and PEOPLE WHO DO NOT UNDERSTAND THEIR LOVE. I hated Austen because CB hated her and I thought she was "just so cold and unfeeling." Yeah. Teenagers are idiots.

That picture where Branwell's apparently being
beamed up by a transporter.

2. Emily. Are there any NON-douchebags who love Wuthering Heights? These were my feelings while reading it: "Ugh I hate all the characters, but the writing is SO GOOD I must continue." I get that Emily was super-weird and who wouldn't be with just a bunch of moors to wander on, but she didn't have to make her characters total assholes. I like the 1930s film of it, but only because they make Heathcliff do the EXACT OPPOSITE of what he does in the book, so he's actually somewhat sympathetic. I don't care if it subverts the author's intentions. Booooo that book.

3. Anne. Poor Anne. No one pays attention to her. And you know what, damnit, I LOVE her. Yeah, The Tenant of Wildfell Hall is kind of just a big ad for the temperance movement (down to the wife weeping on her knees, begging her husband to put down his drink -- "Think of the CHILDREN"), but you know what? Agnes Grey had a purpose, and it was a good one. Sure, Jane in Jane Eyre is a governess, but does that book show how shitty it was to have that job? No. Except that one scene when Blanche Ingram is all "*titter* Oh my, how difficult it is to get good governesses who know their place, blah blah." Whereas most of Agnes Grey is like "Hey, this is what it's like to be a governess. Isn't it horrible? Don't you feel like maybe you should be nicer to yours? YEAH, DO THAT."

And you know that was an actually important point to the Bronte family, because Charlotte and Anne left their governess positions because they were so miserable.

4. Extra Thoughts. All this being said, if you can see the play Bronte, DO IT. It made me KIND of like Emily, which was a near-miraculous feat. And Charlotte is made into this extremely three-dimensional person, which I have a difficult time seeing her as sometimes. And of course I don't remember Anne, because who remembers Anne?, but I'm sure her character's great, too. 

And, of course, despite all the things I just spent a decent amount of time writing, they were a completely remarkable family and I'd pass out if I met any of them. 

Then after I woke up, I wouldn't be able to understand them, because 19th C. RURAL YORKSHIRE ACCENTS.

Let's Do This: The Help Readalong, Week One

Okay, people. Halloween's over. It's November. Let's read The Help and jump on this pop culture bandwagon (that apparently the black community isn't too thrilled about, but more on that later). *waves little bandwagon-jumper flag*

When this first came out, I equated it with The Secret Life of Bees, which I did not read, but I saw the lovely movie version. As it stands, I think I still do this, but now that I have some extra knowledge about it, my brain adds "The Secret Life of Bees, but there're more white people."

The plot elements might be different, but it's still (according to the limited information I have) about a group of wise black women who have A Little Something to Teach The World at Large (aka white people in the '60s). Also the movie posters are both yellow.

I didn't intend this to be a "THE HELP = SECRET LIFE OF BEES" post. Oops. Okay! So! For anyone who wants to do it, we're reading chapters 1 through 9 for next Tuesday. And if those who signed up are all "Screw The Help! I signed up in a moment of weakness!", then I shall post delightful musings on my own while everyone else on the internet sighs and says "We KNOW this already because we read it a YEAR ago."

Those who read it already (or those who haven't, so really everybody), did you have any preconceptions going in? Did you also think it would be The Secret Life of Bees, albeit with more helping and fewer bees? Do you recommend the movie? TELL ME THINGS.