Literary Places I'm Going to See, Or So Help Me God

So. Literary Places I Would Like to Visit. Let's talk about them. Because they are all probably way, way awesome.

1. Emily Dickinson's House. Am I even that big a fan of Dickinson? Nope. Can I quote any of her poems? I think...maybe like a line? Something about hope being a bird? Whatever, the point is when I called her museum last year, the people intimidated me, and I respect that. Plus there's this bit of tabloid-like gossip, and I'm all about that.

Also, this basically looks exactly like Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's house -- a place I have weird associations with because I had an emotional conversation with a friend in his back garden until we were interrupted by a very forward sort of rabbit.

This rabbit.

2. Haworth Parsonage. Um, obviously. If I don't wander on the same damn moors that Charlotte Bronte did at least once in my life, I will have failed. I don't care if someone has to wheel me up there -- when they do, I want to be spun around in little wheely circles, because that is what I would do if I had working legs. And then I will get my friend to hide behind a hill and yell in a deep voice "JAAAANE!" and I will say "I AM COMING! WAIT FOR MEEE!" And then we will visit Branwell's grave and I will scold him for having acted like a tool and worrying his sisters when really they just loved him, and if he HADN'T been so horrible, we wouldn't have Heathcliff foisted upon the world or the suckier bits of The Tenant of Wildfell Hall.

3. Rochester, UK. This is the town that the town in Edwin Drood is based on. It was founded in Roman times. Saint Augustine established its Bishopric. There's a castle from just after the Norman Conquest. THAT IS A THOUSAND-YEAR-OLD CASTLE. There's a cathedral that's also a thousand damn years old. People used to have pilgrimages there. People for a thousand years have been going to that cathedral for the same reason. So basically, if I ever go to Rochester, I will immediately faint. From too much AWESOMENESS.

4. Nuneaton, UK. George Eliot lived here. I don't know if I've actually expressed how much I love George Eliot, but it is a whole lot.

me and George Eliot

5. Salinas, California. Do I need to explain this? Steinbeck basically wanted to make out with Salinas, and so I do too. I'm not sayin' it'll look the same, but I'm also not expecting the highway near George Eliot's childhood home to ring true to her experience of the area. If I see one really pretty valley, I'll be all set.

What my blog would be if it were cooler

A friend recently suggested I make this a blog that reviews the first 50 pages of books. Because that's about how far I get before I get distracted and skip off to another book.

exactly.

That's a bit too 'themey' and 'awesome' for me, but I will totally do it right now.

The Vanishers, Heidi Julavits. Heidi Julavits is a badass. I read an essay of hers I totally loved ("Maine, according to this vernacular, is a state filled with people possessed of great, garbled wisdom who eat lobster like it's bologna and die in ironic drowning accidents"), and so I was all "Heeeeell yeah, I'll read her novel." As far as I can tell 75 pages in, it's about a girl with psychic ability who becomes acquainted with an organization that 'vanishes' people who don't want their lives anymore. It is weird but good.

The Silver Linings Playbook, Matthew Quick. I already talked about this. A bipolar dude gets taken home from an institution he's been in for a few years. He's obsessed with working out, and getting his wife or possibly ex-wife -- he's narrating, so it's unclear -- back. This is excellent and everyone should read it.

The Last Unicorn, Peter Beagle. It's got the sentence "The heavy lock giggled and whined like a mad monkey." So. If that's your jam, you should probably read it.

Gay Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen/Kate Christie. "'No,' answered she. 'In fact, I can say in truth that I have no interest in forwarding any sort of relationship with Caroline Bingley.'" OH REALLY, LIZZY. Also, yeah. I'm reading this. Because this is the sort of book I am asked to review (authors, pay heed). It's kind of great. I wasn't sure who they were going to be putting Elizabeth with (I assumed Charlotte), and when the actual intentions became clear, my Kindle note is: "Hah! Are they putting Elizabeth with Miss Bingley? O rapture." The dynamic works the same, only they are both LADIES.

The Mystery of Edwin Drood, Charles Dickens. Ok, I'm actually mostly through this one. And can I say how very much in love I am with Mr Crisparkle and Mr Grewgious, and how VERY ANNOYED INDEED I am with the otherwise unassailably stellar musical version for combining them into one irritatingly stupid character? I'm actually in love with all the characters except Edwin Drood and John Jasper. They can leave, thank you. For those unaware, this book (of which half exists) concerns the disappearance of the young Mr Drood on a stormy night. It is assumed he's murdered, but by WHOM and WHY. And, more importantly, who's going to end up making out? (the possibilities are ENDLESS)

The annual Presbyterian Women's retreat is this weekend, and while I always have lofty reading goals for it, they rarely get accomplished, because I instead spend my time drinking wine, singing duets from Tangled and bonding. But I shall TRY to finish a book. Try.

Researching Edwin Drood, Pt I

This weekend I frolicked in the rain with my roommate. Yeah, it was freezing rain, and by frolic I mean 'ran pell-mell through the streets of Chicago with one arm covering my library books while yelling 'AHHHHH!' and grabbing onto his hand so I didn't fall on my ass on the ice-covered sidewalk,' but I'm gonna call that 'fun and whimsical' in my head.

I'm still on my Edwin Drood bender. The only time I get seriously serious about academic research is when my subject is something along the lines of "DOES THE TEXT PROVE THAT THESE TWO CHARACTERS WANT TO MAKE OUT?" 

I did this for the opera Carmen (I have a theory using textual proof that Carmen totally does love Don Jose, despite what her outward actions might indicate), Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors (ANTIPHOLUS AND ADRIANA FOREVS), and now Drood with Helena/Rosa. It's the only kind of subject that gets me jazzed enough to put real effort into it. I blame growing up with soap operas and fanfic.

And where are we with this? Well, I'm trying to actually...y'know...finish reading the book. Thought that might be a good first step. I also have a copy of Queer Dickens heading my way, which was recommended by a former professor of mine; and thanks to Emily from As the Crowe Flies (and Reads), I called the Dickens Museum in London to ask who I should contact on this subject, and, surprise, they said the author of Queer Dickens. So I have an email out to her, and I've gathered up some JSTOR articles, made available through their lovely Register & Read program, where you can read three articles every two weeks for free (look, it's better than nothing).

I'm also marking up my copy of the book, which is the FUNNEST and makes me particularly attached to it. 

"What? I act this way with all my friends."

I also got a book on Dickens and Ellen Ternan from the library, 'cause why not. Also because they were together while he was writing this, and since Rosa Bud the 16-year-old actually has a sense of humor (WHAT?), I assume she's at least partially based on Ellen Ternan. 

I can just see her: 

"You know, Charlie, women don't actually act that way." 

"What!" he would exclaim, looking up in surprise from his writing desk.

"No, they are individualized human beings, with selfish thoughts and kind intentions, and are not only capable of reason, but on occasion make jokes." 

"Good Lord. This changes everything."

Harry Potter Readalong, Week 4: My Favorite Person Arrives

I have an immense fondness for egomaniacal idiots. So when 14-year-old me met this particular idiot:

Well, I've never looked back really.

Second year. Dobby's there, being annoying as shit (I like him in book 7, but you're basically a heartless banshee if you don't like him in book 7), the Dursleys seem somehow worse, Ginny and Harry have Had a Few Moments, my boy shows up and is perfect, the Chamber of Secrets has been opened, and — oh yeah, this:


I like Chamber of Secrets. There's a decent number of good things: it's not really exposition so much anymore; we get to see the Burrow and it is AWESOME; Lockhart, Lockhart, Lockhart; and Hermione is able to brew Polyjuice Potion, which I didn't realize when I read this the first time, but that's HELLA hard to make. And she is 12. Let us all once again realize Hermione is awesome.

Oh! Moaning Myrtle! She showed up. And Colin Creevey, but y'know, eh to him.

I don't think I can overemphasize how much I love Gilderoy Lockhart.

 

Femslashing Dickens: I refuse to acknowledge romantic friendship as a thing

Obviously I picked up The Mystery of Edwin Drood again. Obviously.

I'm not very far in (that'd be crazy) but since I know the whole story anyway, I skimmed ahead to see if Helena Landless, Indian (India-Indian) and twin sister of Neville Landless (who I think figures largely in Drood), is in fact a character in the book, or just made up for the musical by Mr. Rupert Holmes because he is awesome.

And she is totally in the book! And the FIRST thing I found for her was a scene at Rosa Bud's boarding school where I guess they're rooming together. Rosa Bud is engaged to Edwin Drood and has been since childhood. Because of the childhood thing, they're not so into each other, and eventually become more like BFFs. So there's that. Here Helena and Rosa are settling down for the evening and fricking Dickens writes this:

"I can answer for you," laughed Helena, searching the lovely little face with her dark fiery eyes, and tenderly caressing the small figure. "You will be a friend to me, won't you?"

It's immediately followed up by Rosa agreeing, but saying she is surprised Helena wants to be friends since the latter is "so womanly and handsome." Mhm.

This was written in 1870. The rather sapphic Woman in White by Dickens's best friend (and our fearless but dead leader) Wilkie Collins was written back in 1859. I'm admittedly going off Wikipedia, but on 'romantic friendships', it says "in the second half of the 19th century, expression of this nature became more rare as physical intimacy between non-sexual partners came to be regarded with anxiety."

So what is Dickens up to? Maybe he was stuck in the past. Maybe he thought Helena's nationality would somehow bar it from being seen as a Thing. Maybe he and Wilkie had some weird contest that involved writing about lesbians — I don't know what those guys got up to in their spare time. 

Oh, this thing, also found while skimming for Helena:

I don't even know where I am anymore

Drood isn't mentioned in Emma Donoghue's Inseparable: Desire Between Women in Literature (did you know that Emma Donoghue is a woman of many facets?), but Miss Wade in Little Dorrit is, and she seems to be more of a clear-cut case. Little Dorrit was published in its entirety in 1857, which tallies much more nicely with my Wilkie contest theory, but having written the latter 13 years prior, I see no reason why he'd take a step backwards with Drood.

Basically I'm writing this at midnight because I was feeling shippy about Rosa/Helena anyway due to Betsy Wolfe and Jessie Mueller who play them on Broadway, and then it turns out, oh, hey book. Look at you. With your words.

I blame you two dorks

Maybe actual context will change eeeverything. Oh, but wait, Rosa has a panic attack in the first 70 pages and this happens: 

With one swift turn of her lithe figure, Helena laid the little beauty on a sofa, as if she had never caught her up. Then, on one knee beside her, and with one hand upon her rosy mouth, while with the other she appealed to all the rest, Helena said to them: 'It's nothing; it's all over; don't speak to her for one minute and she is well!'

Damnit, Dickens. Why don't you just go write Goblin Market.

My Currently Reading pile will be added to until it topples over and kills me

For those who don't follow me on twitter (*peers at you*), you might not know that I am currently majorly obsessed with the musical The Mystery of Edwin Drood. The cast recording is being released next Tuesday, but they're selling copies in the theatre now, SO, I...er...kind of asked a friend of my brother's to go to the theatre, buy a copy and upload it for me. Which he did. So I now have it, thanks to living in the FUTURE.

Ugh this cast. Also BUSTLES.

Speaking of Dickens, I'm working on Barnaby Rudge: A Tale of the Riots of '80 and it is Not Great so far. Mainly because it's set in 1780 and Dickens has almost exclusively confined his action to a bunch of old men sitting around a tavern fireplace. There was one grumpy guy, but then he left. If someone named something like Alfred P. Whiffersnook doesn't show up soon, I will continue to read this, but under protest.

I've also started The Silver Linings Playbook, and it is AWESOME. I'm gonna go ahead and say it's one of those This Is Just Good and You Should Read It books. Yeah, I'm like a fifth of the way through it, but STILL. I'd say you can usually tell like ten pages in whether a book's gonna suck or not. Maybe 20. Gotta get past that first chapter. But yeah, the narrator's crazy and it's great. And JLaw is in the movie, so how can you go wrong with either?

Someone was telling me yesterday to reeeally try again with The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. I don't know. I kind of feel like its moment has come and gone. But I do have it for Kindle. And people got reeeally into it. And then I could watch the Swedish movie version, which I've been wanting to do for a WHILES.

This'd probably be one of those #firstworldproblems.

I suspect all books from the '60s of having been written on hallucinogens

It's the coldest day in two years in Chicago. Which actually wouldn't be that bad, because last winter was eaaaasy, but it is in fact wrenchingly cold outside. "Oh, I shall wear knee socks and my long coat and my legs will be fine," said I. Noooo, Alice. Because halfway through my walk to work, I lost all feeling at the knees and thought I was developing frostbite (there's a frostbite warning and I have a susceptible mind). In my defense, the windchill is -15.

BUT ANYWAY. Books. Warm, cozy books, hopefully read with hot chocolate near a fireplace, or at the very least, a space heater.

Who told me to read Lost Magic? It was charming. All set in medieval times and quoting Chaucer. I like reading medievaly things because the people are all "And then I straightened my kirtle" and I am like "Ha-hah, I shall look that funny word up." Lost Magic taught me 'trencher.' Which is basically like a food tray you'd get at camp. P.S. It was also pretty much the original bread bowl.

Does everyone pretty much agree Jonathan Franzen is the worst? He wrote an essay on New York state in State by State that I VERY much enjoyed, but then everyone was hating on him for what he said about Twitter and then I started The Corrections, and it was all talking about "the nasal contention of a leaf blower, the the ripening of local apples in a paper bag, the smell of the gasoline with which Alfred Lambert had cleaned the paintbrush from his morning painting of the wicker love seat" and I was like

I've started The Last Unicorn, which is a movie I watched apparently a LOT as a kid, because every part seems super-familiar so far. I texted my brother "They passed down all the roads long ago, and the Red Bull ran close behind them and covered their footprints" and he IMMEDIATELY texted back "That movie is unsettling." 

But I think I secretly really loved it, for the book is bringing me much joy. For those of you unaware, there's a unicorn and she thinks she's the last (tah-daaah!) and she goes on a quest to find other unicorns, who might be (probably are) held prisoner by King Haggard and the Red Bull and on the way she encounters witches and wizards and harpies and singing butterflies. I'm pretty sure the guy who wrote it was high the entire time, but that is fine.

In conclusion:

The Looking Glass Wars, or Hey I Finished a Book in Seven Years

January's been the complete opposite of November and December, in that I am actually READING things. How very odd indeed.

So a book I'm actually proud of finishing is one I got through last night: The Looking Glass Wars.

When your mother names you Alice and brings you up with a wardrobe painted with scenes from Alice in Wonderland and a collection of copies of the book, you feel a sort of reluctant obligation to read things about that character. So when I saw this at Borders back in 2006, I thought what the hey. And then I didn't read it for seven years.

Which is a shame, because I mean, the cover's cool, right? And the title seems to imply it's Alice in Wonderland, but maybe dystopiafied, and who doesn't love that.

In the middle of reading it, I would've said not to read it. My current thinking is that if you can read it in like a day, do it. I did it over the weekend, and it was fun enough that I'm still thinking about some of the characters. Also I have to read the second one, damnit, because ALYSS AND DODGE.

Right. Her name. So basically Alice Liddell is actually Princess Alyss of Wonderland, and Queen Redd takes over the queendom, killing Alyss's family and forcing her to flee through the Pool of Tears to Victorian England where she is adopted by the Liddells and told Wonderland didn't exist. Meanwhile a hardy band of insurgents who call themselves Alyssians are fighting against Redd and her top assassin, The Cat (yes, that cat -- no, not Dinah).

Alyss also grew up with a boy named Dodge, whom I was rather determined not to like, but then something tragic happens during Redd's takeover and he becomes this: 

 A burning dormitory illuminated the renegade's face: handsome and rugged, with four parallel scars visible on his right cheek. Dodge Anders. Only fourteen years old but fighting like a grown man.

SCARS. Sorry. I like scars. Also he's an unemotional badass with REPRESSED PAIN and that is awesome. There's another guy like that named Hatter Madigan (get it?) who's basically the head of Alice's bodyguards. He has a lot of knives.

ANYWHO, so Alyss at some point makes it back to Wonderland, where she has to hopefully claim her rightful place as queen and maybe MAYBE in future books make out with Dodge's face. That's my dream for those two crazy kids anyway.

The random and minor thing that bothered me about this book isn't so much the not-totally-amazing-but-still-trying-hard prose (it's fine), but more that on the cover, the Card soldiers totally look like the battle droids in Phantom Menace.

heyyyyyyy.

But this is obviously minor.

If you look up Frank Beddor, he either looks like a magician or a 1993 movie villain. So I don't know how I feel about that. He wrote two other books for this series, plus there's a Hatter Madigan graphic novel spinoff, and that's doable. I'd read those. If you're all into Alice in Wonderland stuff, then maybe give it a whirl.

ALSO, what I learned while doing side research in the course of reading this book is that Alice Liddell met Peter Llewelyn Davies in 1932. So. Alice in Wonderland and Peter Pan. That is the best classic children's lit crossover of all crossovers. I think Alice would be irritated with Peter if it came down to it, but still.

Harry Potter Week 3: More toilet seats

Hufflepuff pride, y'all

Oh, the second half of Sorceror's Stone. More specifically, wizard chess (so exciting) and TROLL IN THE DUNGEONS.

 
How do we feel about this part? The exposition is pretty much done. They're all friends. There've been things set up for the next six books. Snape! It's like he can read minds. The centaurs! There's a prophecy about Harry and Voldemort. Ron and Hermione! Er....nothing really yet.

I believe something was brought up in comments last week about how Harry meeting Quirrell should have made his scar hurt, but that was solved in the second half of the reading, as Quirrell made it clear that Voldemort was not hidden beneath his turban until after the Gringotts failure. Problems: we solve them.

One of the things I never noticed before because I don't think I had enough distance from the books is how Dumbledore is portrayed here. He's this omnipotent, amazing but still father-like figure. If Dumbledore's there, everything will be okay. You can relax. Place all your trust in him.

As the books go on, this ebbs away, bit by bit. Dumbledore becomes more human, weaker, and far more relatable. For those of us who went through preteen or teen years with these books, it was essentially the journey we had with our parents. "Wait, you're just PEOPLE? People I love, but still flawed, human people?" There's a sense of betrayal, but you get over it and you learn to love them for being people who loved you from your whiny baby years through your gross adolescent years to your awesome current years.

Speaking of people I love:

'That's chess!' snapped Ron. 'You've got to make sacrifices!'

*dies*

I miss this Ron a bit as the series goes on. This is one of my favorite moments for him. He comes back at random times throughout the other books, but rarely in as clear a way as he does here. Stupid Harry, taking up the space in his own books.

Finally, really, J.K? Death is but the next great adventure?

Mhm.

I'll accept that as a Peter Pan nod, but still. You watch yourself, madam.

Nabokov is not a horrible man

Junior year of college, I took a course on Nabokov. I'd never read anything of his, but a professor I was totally in love with was teaching it, and so I pretty much didn't care what the subject was.

We read eight of his books. Eight. Do you know how many of Dickens's books I've read? Eight. And I LOVE him. Actually, as of now, I've read nine Nabokov books, and that kills me a little bit, but okay whatever.

Lolita was a bit of a problem. I was already frustrated in that class because it had a lot of super-smart grad students. Pretty much all I'd read up to then was Victorian lit, and when it came to modern/postmodern lit, I felt like an idiot. So then we started reading this, what seems on the surface, pedophilic work, and I just hated it.

Our professor said things like "You have to look at it from the side of your eye" and "Don't judge it yet," but I pretty much ignored all that and focused on how yes, the opening lines are wonderful, but then it swiftly descends into Humbert Humbert being gross and me feeling gross for reading it.

UNTIL. The ending. There's a line towards the end I loved so much I put it on my bedroom door (I have a collection of quotes on my door at my parents' house). Humbert goes through the novel not really seeing Lolita. She's this fantasy object with no interiority, and her perceived-by-him lack of self is most of what enables him to do what he does. If she's not a fully-fledged person, what does it matter? He wants her, she's obviously leading him on, so there we have it.

But something happens towards the end that makes him realize that "quite possibly, behind the awful juvenile cliches, there was in her a garden and a twilight, and a palace gate".

That almost turned the novel on its head for me. Humbert Humbert's behavior is not condoned. He is not any kind of hero. He is a terrible man, but Lolita is a beautifully written book.

I have READ things

January has been a WHIRLWIND MONTH. And we're only halfway through it. What other mysteries do you hold, January!

In addition to personal/professional Life Stuff, I've actually been finishing books. I KNOW. What is even going on.

So let's look at some actual books on this damn book blog.

Gone Girl. Yeah. I read this. And I was reeeeal excited for the first half. Then a thing happened and I was like "...oh. Reall--ok." And then more things happened and then I liked the ending. YOU CANNOT TALK ABOUT THIS BOOK. Because if you give away anything, it RUINS it. Just -- omg, I was going to say a thing, but I CAN'T for the good of those who haven't read it yet. What I CAN say is that Gillian Flynn apparently lives near me in Chicago. So...boom. Also I kind of want to read Sharp Objects, mainly because I saw a girl on the train reading it and the cover looked neato.

Holes. I was 100% more delighted by the twists in this than in Gone Girl. Mainly because I did not know there would BE any twists. So when a thing got revealed at the end, I giggled muchly. I've loved Louis Sachar since back when I read Sideways Stories from Wayside School at an appropriate age. I've been meaning to read this for years, and the main thing that happened while I read it was people would see it and go "Oh! I should re-read that." And yes, they should. It is wonderful. Also, anything that flashes back to the 1800s Old West gets +20 points.

Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe. I'm just making my way through the lesbian canon. Obbbviously. One of my old Livejournal friends said this is her favorite book and that Ruth and Idgie are the best. Plus, give me a book set in the South that features wise black women and children catching fireflies, and I am SOLD. Also mmm small towns. There's a small town in Illinois called Bishop Hill that was founded by Swedish cultists (I know, right?) and my friend and I road-tripped it out there a few years ago, because you get to wander around and eat pie and find the grave of the guy who shot the cult leader.

I have a whole album of these.

So I love small towns, and this book not only had colorful Southern characters (hurray!), but featured a small town where everyone knows each other. I never said "Ugh it's time to look in on THIS character," because I loved them all. Also, I would please like to live in Whistle Stop. Good job, Fannie Flagg. I will read your other books.

I've started my next chronological Dickens, which is the thrilling (false) Barnaby Rudge -- a book alllll about the anti-popery riots in 1780. Because nothing says 'stands the test of time' like a novel about how unpopular Catholicism was in 18th century England. I'm actually expecting to love it anyway, because it's early Dickens, and I can't hate early Dickens. Plus he just described someone as "a burly, large-headed man with a fat face."

I hate myself for loving you, Dickens.

internet friends are spiffy

Have you all noticed how amazing internet/blogging friendships are?

They're pretty much an interaction of pure personality. Or at least brain-ness. And yeah, we're pretty censored on our blogs. If this reflected how I actually thought, it'd be a weirdass mixture of how much I need to buy hummus, how fattening Chipotle REALLY is, whether Xena was looking at Gabrielle that way in season one, can I get to the library today, which aria would be best to work on next, does the--hahaha tumblr you are so funny, should I try to relearn the Russian accusative case, and IF I could travel anywhere in time for ten minutes, where would I go.

(fyi I'd sit on the banks of the Chicago River at the Washington/Wacker intersection in 1802)

But nevertheless, I believe our basic personalities show through on the internet. Unless we're very cunning sociopaths with NOTHING else to do.

Book blogging friends are the first internet friends I have made as a fully-fledged adult. The earliest internet friends I made were through Yahoo Groups (REMEMBER THOSE?) and then Livejournal. I've flown out to stay with these people, called them at 2 in the morning when I was SURE there was a serial killer in my dorm room closet (sorry, Steph), and sat through a four hour Wagnerian opera with them. In short, internet friends are real friends.

And look at you all! You are delightful. And I am so happy to know you. If I DON'T know you -- dudes, I have an email address. It's on my profile page or something. Commenting on people's blogs is a way to become friends, but the BEHIND THE SCENES BONDING happens on twitter, gchat and through email.

I leave you all with this. And also with hugs.

Harry Potter Readalong, Week 2

*weeps* Okay. We've begun. And it's already been magnificent.

The Dursleys are horrible (MY BELOVED PETUNIA WILL BE UNDERSTOOD LATER), Harry's a wizard, and Draco Malfoy has a weasel face. That's where we ended for this week. Also Quirrell has a mysterious turban and MOST OF US KNOW WHY.

So...there are ten students in each class in each House? So forty new students a year? Out of all of England? HOW SMALL IS THE WIZARDING POPULATION. I have to say, if we're doing any complaining at all, mine has to be that these books weren't NEARLY big enough (not even the super-giant ones, no), because I demand all the information ever. If J.K. doesn't write that encyclopedia, I will protest with glittery but strongly-worded signs.

Because are there other wizarding schools in England? Is Hogwarts IT? They seem to imply there are others, but they aren't named (unless they mention it elsewhere and I am just being lazy). Because if there were only 40 new students a year in England, that's just not a lot and soon they'd be interbreeding and — ohhh this explains some things. But whatever, they still basically said there were other schools.

YOU ARE SO LITTLE

Hermione is fantastic already, and they're all obnoxious brats. But that'll eventually change. Kind of. Pretty much everyone but Harry gets better, and for that I salute JKR. Also:

"Hermione Granger was on the edge of her seat and looked desperate to start proving that she wasn't a dunderhead."

 How can you not be in love with this series? I'm still not precisely sure what it is about it that appeals to everyone and is so head and shoulders above all the rest, but I will make sure I am able to articulate it soon. 

I feel like we should all at some point contribute something others might not know about from the Harry Potter internet realm. The HP wiki has an extensive entry for Prof. McGonagall which is SO AWESOME, and gives you tons of background info, courtesy of Pottermore. There're spoilers for the later books, so read at your discretion (but no, for reals, go read — she was at school with Prof. Sprout!). Oh, ALSO, Mrs. Norris is named after a character in Mansfield Park you want to punch.

GREATLY looking forward to everyone's posts today.

The Night Watch is exceedingly good

Ok, The Night Watch deserves a better review than just "it's about some gay people in WWII." Because WHILE THAT IS TRUE, it is also about OTHER stuff. And also it's really really good and you should read it.

So Sarah Waters is awesome. If you're looking for lesbian authors who are good/respected/don't only write about sexy lady detectives who fall in love with other sexy ladies, then she should be on your list. In fact, I think it's pretty much her, Emma Donoghue and Jeanette Winterson (but we all know how I feel about Winterson, yes? DEFOGIFY YOUR WORK, WOMAN — "I'm writing about my childhood now....or am I?").

I'd add Dorothy Allison and Fannie Flagg to that list. And probably Alice Walker. But anyway.

It appears that in a dastardly attempt at disappointing my future self, I did not write down quotes from this wonderful book. 

So you shall have to trust me when I say that the writing is clear and wonderful, as is usually the case with Sarah Waters.

Night Watch starts in 1947, introduces you to several threads — Kay is sad; Helen and Viv have Mysterious Pasts and also run a 1940s OkCupid; and something....something is up with Duncan.
 
This is how we begin. And it goes BACKWARDS. So you hit 1944 and 1941, and you basically learn how to feel like shit over how easy Americans had it in WWII. "Oh, you weren't constantly living with the fear of being blown to pieces by a bomb or drowned in a flooded Underground station? How nice for you. Good job on that Victory Garden though." And now I'm even angrier about what a dick Molly was to Emily in Happy Birthday, Molly.

Because it's Sarah Waters, it's a super-gay book. And by 'super-gay' I mean 'has gay characters.' So if that's not your cup of tea (*eyeballs you*), then I guess stay away? But if you like awesome books, you should read it. Plus there's a token straight character, so, y'know. That should appease you, right?

And there are FEELINGS and CHARACTER ARCS, even though they happen backwards, and tons of WWII-related things I did not KNOW about, and ladies kissing ladies and some dudes being in love with dudes.

 

No, but honestly, the appeal is in the characters and slowly understanding how they end up where they are in '47. It's the best that Waters has written, if we're going by "literary merit" and not "has sexy scenes of sexiness" (in which case, Tipping the Velvet would obviously win). So you should read it. And apparently DON'T read Waters's The Little Stranger, because I have been informed that that one sucks.

Libraries are weirdly controversial places for book people

Remember that time on Once Upon a Time when Regina (Evil Queen) showed up to a party and everyone else was all "The fuck?" but Emma Swan made this face?:


Yeah, so Swan Queen is canon. Done.

I think I tend to assume other people have the same relationship with the library that I do. Or at least other book-liking people. Turns out, NOT necessarily the case.

Chicago has a kickass, eight floor, whole-city-block-inhabiting downtown library called the Harold Washington Library Center. It has escalators. It has many many reading corners. It has a convenient popular library on the first floor for the lazy among us who either want the latest Jodi Picoult or free DVDs because Netflix Instant somehow just isn't enough. I love this library.

The main things that seem to keep people away from their respective library branches are: 

 1) Germs are gross. DO YOU KNOW WHAT PEOPLE DO WITH THOSE BOOKS. I don't. But I do know I once dropped a library book in a (clean) toilet. So think on that. 

 2) I didn't return a book this once and now I'm worried the librarian's gonna come after me with a pickaxe. Librarians do not do this. They are busy folk for the most part, or bored circ workers who don't care. Speaking as a former bored circ worker, the only way they'll give you shit is if you act like an entitled asshole. Otherwise they'll help you clear your record. 

 3) I just like owning the books I'm reading. Perfectly acceptable reason. I find no fault in this. Unless you have a lot of credit card debt, in which case omg just go to the library. 

 4) I work at the Parks Department. Well then.

Smile and the world smiles with you, Hardy

When I was at home over Christmas, I found my copy of Tess of the d'Urbervilles. What I'd forgotten was what was done to the cover:

I was in some college class, and a friend said "She looks too sad" and stuck that on there. So I promptly secured it with Scotch tape and it is never coming off. Because it's the best part of the book.

When I was going through my Meryl Streep stage, I very very much wanted to watch The French Lieutenant's Woman, because it looked like it would have all kinds of delightful shippy things in it, and oh what fun. But obvs I had to read the book first, so I got it, read it, was none too into it, BUT Fowles quotes quite a bit of Hardy's poetry in it. 

So I decided to finally read Tess because of that. And then I found out that Hardy was a big Mr. SadPants, which is not so much my thing. So he's all "And then Tess made yet another accidental bad decision which took two seconds but had a monstrous and terrible impact on the rest of her life" and I'm over here being like

The only Hardy I know I like is Under the Greenwood Tree, and I don't even like the book -- I just like the movie with Keeley Hawes because it is super-adorable and you should watch it because I am not kidding she plays a character named Fancy Day and everyone is in love with her but she only loves the simple farm boy and they have heated words and then KISS (spoilers).

Stupid late Victorians. Why couldn't they all have been fun like Oscar Wilde?...wait, they did what to him? DAMNIT, Victorian England. Get your shit together.

Harry Potter Readalong Schedule

All right, Readalongers. Here's the schedule for the first four books. I'll add the others as it gets closer (which won't be for a while, so calm yo'selves). If people want to take certain books faster/slower, we can decide that later.

Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone
January 11th - Chapters 1 through 9
January 18th - Chapters 10 through 17 (end of book)

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
January 25th - Chapters 1 through 10
February 1st - Chapters 11 through 18 (end of book)

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
February 8th - Chapters 1 through 11
February 15th - Chapters 12 through 22 (end of book)

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
February 22nd - Chapters 1 through 13
March 1st - Chapters 14 through 20
March 8th - Chapters 21 through 28
March 15th - Chapters 29 through 37 (end of book)

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
March 22nd - Chapters 1 through 12
March 29th - Chapters 13 through 20
April 5th - Chapters 21 through 29
April 12th - Chapters 30 through 38 (end of book)

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
April 19th - Chapters 1 through 7
April 26th - Chapters 8 through 18
May 3rd - Chapters 19 through 30 (end of book)

Tales of Beedle the Bard
May 10th 

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
May 17th - Chapters 1 through 10
May 24th - Chapters 11 through 19
May 31st - SKIPPING FOR BEA
June 7th - Chapters 20 through 28
June 14th - Chapters 29 through Epilogue (end of book)

June 21st - Wrap-Up Posts for This Immensely Long Readalong
  

Mini Readathon: Our Finale or Something

SO. Here we are. Eight hours later. It has been a thoroughly enjoyable day (aside from the coughing and waiting for my roommate to bring home bourbon because I've been told it fixes this). I think I've actually read more than in any other readathon I've done, so SUCCESS.

1) Finished Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe

2) Did about 60 pages of Eats, Shoots & Leaves

3) Read two stories in Emma Donoghue's touchy subjects

4) Read the first 100 pages of Harry Potter and awwwwwwwww. "Uncle Vernon, who had gone very pale, whispered something that sounded like 'Mimblewimble.'"

I love everything about this book. But MORE ON THAT NEXT FRIDAY. I actually loved all the books I was reading today, which is obviously great. This is my sixth Emma Donoghue, and I'm super-happy it's a short story collection, because I think her short stories are much better than her novels. Her novels are good! But her short stories are very very good. And usually are based on historical events she's researched, which is just fun.

The Classics Club's readathon is...still going? I guess? But I like to think the GIF Admiration Society abides by the rules of JLaw: 

lead us where you will, JLaw

 So we're all set. But yes, this has been EXCELLENT and thank you, Tika, for hosting. May this happen again not too far off.

Readathon, Parte Dos

MIDWAY POINT OF THE MINI READATHON.

I seriously love that we're able to do this. And God bless Twitter, y'know?

So. I have finished Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe, and — *sobs* — WHY can't I just live in Whistle Stop, Alabama, WHY.

I get that this is manufactured and not real and helps build the Southern mythology, but I LOVE the Southern mythology, so let's just all believe in it, please.

Started Harry Potter and was delighted by how easily my 12-year-old copy stays open after being read by almost all the kids in the family and carted around by me from home to dorm to Chicago. Also I found this on the inside:

"Alice J. Burton earned this book

at Chautauqua, NY in 1999 at the
age of 14 (written in Oct. 2000)"

I'd recently found books by my grandmother with her name + college written in them, so I was on a Mark This Book kick.

I've also read like a chapter of Eats, Shoots & Leaves, my favorite part of which thus far might be:

 When my own mother suggested we print on the front of the book 'For the select few,' I was hurt, I admit it; I bit my lip and blinked a tear. Yet I knew what she meant. I am the writer, after all, who once wrote a whole comic novel about Lewis Carroll and Alfred, Lord Tennyson and expected other people to be interested. Oh yes, I have learned that lesson the hard way.

 I have also eaten many delicious things. READALONG ONWARD.

Mini Readathon: The Beginnining!

Despite staying up stupid-late reading Xena fan fiction (the calendar might say it's 2013, but in my room it's always 1997), it is MINI READATHON TIME.

Yes, that magical time when we read for eight hours and then stop because hey, we got other shit to do.

 

These're my books:

Touchy Subjects by Emma Donoghue, composed of short stories or MINI BOOKS

Eats, Shoots & Leaves by Lynne Truss. Grammar is made up of tiny dots and lines and things.

Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe by Fannie Flagg. Um....the town they live in is very small. Almost like a MINI TOWN.

Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone, It's the shortest of the Harry Potters, so...like a little mini Harry Potter. Right? Right.

These are my snacks:

 

LOOK AT THE TINY ICE CREAM

 I'm actually sick today with some kind of sore throat/flu thing, so I should just be drinking like wheat grass or something, but I bought all these tiny THINGS, so they shall be eaten. Some of them. And look at the spinach back there lookin' all awkward next to the pretzel dogs and Bagel Bites. *pats the spinach*

I'm gonna do multiple posts, 'cause it's a pain in the ass doing the other thing. Maybe three total? Sure. And as I'm sure we all know, I read super-slowly, so ahaha I don't expect to FINISH all these. But I'd like to make headway in at least three. I'm already almost done with Fried Green Tomatoes, so let's go.

Until later, let us all remember that "Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much."

*sighs happily* *starts reading*

Harry Potter Readalong of Amazingness and Jollity Intro Post

The day is here. The time is now. HARRY POTTER READALONG TIME.

I realized yesterday I didn't post a schedule, because Alley asked for one and nope, wasn't there, but I WILL POST ONE. Like on Sunday or something. Just know we're doing book 1 in two weeks, posts on Fridays, so next Friday'll be the first half and whatever you want to talk about related to it. We're allowed to reference future events, because if you don't want things spoiled for you, you should've read the series sooner, you wretched human being.

So. I'm Alice. I live in Chicago. I receptionize/sing operatic things/wish I could be looking for proof of the Mothman. I first encountered Harry Potter on vacation with my family in 1999, when a mysteeerious old man started walking next to me as I read, asked what I was reading, and then mentioned some new series I might be interested in about a boy who finds out he's a wizard. I read the first book in the car on the way to Niagara Falls and then made my parents stop at a mall so I could get the second. Harry Potter is the greatest.

Totes, Harry

Other than intros, today's kind of an overview day. HP is not something I read critically. At all. I'm going to be overly invested in the characters and I'm going to hate the Marauders, because they are dumb. And that's going to be my reasoning. I have an unhealthy attachment to Bellatrix Lestrange, but I acknowledge she's insane and terrible. I don't like Snape. When I was younger, I would've had a battle to the death (with WORDS) if someone shipped Harry/Hermione, but now I really don't care who you ship. So GO TO with that.

Pottermore sorted me into Hufflepuff, and that is totally correct. We get the common room right by the kitchen. I hope you're happy with your "House Cup," everyone else. We'll just be over here with our Butterbeer and our overstuffed sofas.

This is going to be awesomely fun. Be prepared to talk next week about how boring HP exposition is by now, how back in the day you totally thought Dumbledore/McGonagall had a Thing going, and how tiny events in the first book hint at stuff SO FAR DOWN THE ROAD THAT OMG JKR YOU CRAFTY MINX. Exciting.