Skip to main content

Wuthering Heights Tomorrow and Sexy Teenage Vampires Today

Tomorrow is going to be a very exciting day, because my friend Doug from work (whom I quote quite often on twitter) is going to be posting about Wuthering Heights, which I made him read. I've read the post, and oh man, you guys. Oh man. If there were like, a blog post jousting tournament, Doug would knock me from my noble steed and this blog would be his by right. But fortunately I refuse to partake in such a tourney (well, not so fortunately for you all). So this will be merely a one-day thing. LOOK FORWARD.

As we all do our vaguely sexual, looking-forward dance

I'm really excited about like three books right now, but let's focus on the most embarrassing one, because that's the most fun.

VAMPIRE ACADEMY. Ok, look, I checked this out as a library eBook because I was like "HAH, Vampire Academy. This is gonna be so stupid. People and their dumb teenage vampire obsession. 'Look at me, I'm a hot teenage vampire who gets into all sorts of faux-dark, sexy situations with other hot teenage vampires and maybe -- MAYBE -- a human you can project onto.' Morons."

Yeah, except now I'm like "TELL ME MORE ABOUT THE HOT TEENAGE VAMPIRES."

So this stars Rose Hathaway, who is a "dhampir" (ugh, I know) which are like, half-vampire people who protect Good Vampires ("Moroi") from BAD Vampires ("Strigoi"). She and Lissa are BFFs. Lissa's a vampire, and they both go to this vampire high school where they take classes on how to be awesome vampires and awesome vampire protectors. And there's a bitchy clique and a sexy brooding outcast guy and a sexy brooding authority figure guy and VAGUE THREATS AND DEAD ANIMALS SHOWING UP IN WEIRD PLACES. Which is the mystery part. There're also Relevant Teen Issues, like cutting and maybe bulimia and high school gossip circles saying a girl's a slut (which here would be 'bloodwhore') and how one deals with this. Vampires: Perhaps They Are Not So Different Than We After All.

The reason this is a zillion times better than Twilight (not that that's difficult) is that Rose is completely awesome. Sure, she's way into guys, but she's 17 and in a high stress environment, and eh. She doesn't make it her life. She trains her ASS off in order to be a better guardian for Lissa and to live up to the ideals she's held since childhood.

I think the book started getting to me with this exchange between her and a teacher regarding the time she and Lissa spent on the run before coming back to school:

I swallowed back more swear words. "I watched the area whenever we went out," I said, needing to defend myself.

"Oh? Well that's something. Did you use Carnegie's Quadrant Surveillance Method or the Rotational Survey?"

I didn't say anything.

"Ah. I'm guessing you used the Hathaway Glance-Around-When-You-Remember-To Method."

There is also, however, stuff like this:

Dimitri looked surprised, like he didn't want me to know that, like I'd uncovered some secret part of him. I'd been thinking he was some aloof, antisocial tough guy, but maybe he kept himself apart from other people so he wouldn't get hurt if he lost them.

To which I respond, 'Ahahahahahaha No no no, book. And you were doing so well.'

But whatever, this is kickass. I'm just excited there's a teenage vampire-book heroine who's not solely there to be fought over by two guys. GOOD ON YOU, RICHELLE MEAD.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

How to Build a Girl Introductory Post, which is full of wonderful things you probably want to read

Acclaimed (in England mostly) lady Caitlin Moran has a novel coming out. A NOVEL. Where before she has primarily stuck to essays. Curious as we obviously were about this, I and a group of bloggers are having a READALONG of said novel, probably rife with spoilers (maybe they don't really matter for this book, though, so you should totally still read my posts). This is all hosted/cared for/lovingly nursed to health by Emily at As the Crowe Flies (and Reads) because she has a lovely fancy job at an actual bookshop ( Odyssey Books , where you can in fact pre-order this book and then feel delightful about yourself for helping an independent store). Emily and I have negotiated the wonders of Sri Lankan cuisine and wandered the Javits Center together. Would that I could drink with her more often than I have. I feel like we could get to this point, Emily INTRODUCTION-wise (I might've tipped back a little something this evening, thus the constant asides), I am Alice. I enjoy

Harry Potter 2013 Readalong Signup Post of Amazingness and Jollity

Okay, people. Here it is. Where you sign up to read the entire Harry Potter series (or to reminisce fondly), starting January 2013, assuming we all survive the Mayan apocalypse. I don't think I'm even going to get to Tina and Bette's reunion on The L Word until after Christmas, so here's hopin'. You guys know how this works. Sign up if you want to. If you're new to the blog, know that we are mostly not going to take this seriously. And when we do take it seriously, it's going to be all Monty Python quotes when we disagree on something like the other person's opinion on Draco Malfoy. So be prepared for your parents being likened to hamsters. If you want to write lengthy, heartfelt essays, that is SWELL. But this is maybe not the readalong for you. It's gonna be more posts with this sort of thing: We're starting Sorceror's/Philosopher's Stone January 4th. Posts will be on Fridays. The first post will be some sort of hilar

Minithon: The Mini Readathon, January 11th, 2020

The minithon is upon us once more! Minithons are for the lazy. Minithons are for the uncommitted. Minithons are for us. The minithon lasts 6 hours (10 AM to 4 PM CST), therefore making it a mini readathon, as opposed to the lovely Dewey's 24 Hour Readathon and 24in48, both of which you should participate in, but both of which are a longer commitment than this, the Busy Watching Netflix person's readathon. By 'read for six hours' what's really meant in the minithon is "read a little bit and eat a lot of snacks and post pictures of your books and your snacks, but mostly your snacks." We like to keep it a mini theme here, which mainly means justifying your books and your snacks to fit that theme. Does your book have children in it? Mini people! Does it have a dog! Mini wolf! Does it have pencils? Mini versions of graphite mines! or however you get graphite, I don't really know. I just picture toiling miners. The point is, justify it or don't