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Wuthering Heights Tomorrow and Sexy Teenage Vampires Today

Tomorrow is going to be a very exciting day, because my friend Doug from work (whom I quote quite often on twitter) is going to be posting about Wuthering Heights, which I made him read. I've read the post, and oh man, you guys. Oh man. If there were like, a blog post jousting tournament, Doug would knock me from my noble steed and this blog would be his by right. But fortunately I refuse to partake in such a tourney (well, not so fortunately for you all). So this will be merely a one-day thing. LOOK FORWARD.

As we all do our vaguely sexual, looking-forward dance

I'm really excited about like three books right now, but let's focus on the most embarrassing one, because that's the most fun.

VAMPIRE ACADEMY. Ok, look, I checked this out as a library eBook because I was like "HAH, Vampire Academy. This is gonna be so stupid. People and their dumb teenage vampire obsession. 'Look at me, I'm a hot teenage vampire who gets into all sorts of faux-dark, sexy situations with other hot teenage vampires and maybe -- MAYBE -- a human you can project onto.' Morons."


So this stars Rose Hathaway, who is a "dhampir" (ugh, I know) which are like, half-vampire people who protect Good Vampires ("Moroi") from BAD Vampires ("Strigoi"). She and Lissa are BFFs. Lissa's a vampire, and they both go to this vampire high school where they take classes on how to be awesome vampires and awesome vampire protectors. And there's a bitchy clique and a sexy brooding outcast guy and a sexy brooding authority figure guy and VAGUE THREATS AND DEAD ANIMALS SHOWING UP IN WEIRD PLACES. Which is the mystery part. There're also Relevant Teen Issues, like cutting and maybe bulimia and high school gossip circles saying a girl's a slut (which here would be 'bloodwhore') and how one deals with this. Vampires: Perhaps They Are Not So Different Than We After All.

The reason this is a zillion times better than Twilight (not that that's difficult) is that Rose is completely awesome. Sure, she's way into guys, but she's 17 and in a high stress environment, and eh. She doesn't make it her life. She trains her ASS off in order to be a better guardian for Lissa and to live up to the ideals she's held since childhood.

I think the book started getting to me with this exchange between her and a teacher regarding the time she and Lissa spent on the run before coming back to school:

I swallowed back more swear words. "I watched the area whenever we went out," I said, needing to defend myself.

"Oh? Well that's something. Did you use Carnegie's Quadrant Surveillance Method or the Rotational Survey?"

I didn't say anything.

"Ah. I'm guessing you used the Hathaway Glance-Around-When-You-Remember-To Method."

There is also, however, stuff like this:

Dimitri looked surprised, like he didn't want me to know that, like I'd uncovered some secret part of him. I'd been thinking he was some aloof, antisocial tough guy, but maybe he kept himself apart from other people so he wouldn't get hurt if he lost them.

To which I respond, 'Ahahahahahaha No no no, book. And you were doing so well.'

But whatever, this is kickass. I'm just excited there's a teenage vampire-book heroine who's not solely there to be fought over by two guys. GOOD ON YOU, RICHELLE MEAD.


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