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Monkalong III: So much talk of delights in people's bosoms


I'M SORRY FOR ENDING THE READING THERE I DIDN'T KNOW.

You better fix this, Monk. Holy shit. 

So basically, in this section, the monk Ambrosio and Matilda bang a lot, then he immediately gets sick of her because she's too slutty (MEN), then after talking to her for 10 seconds he's really into Antonia who we're all assuming is his sister, and now Matilda's summoned Lucifer to help Ambrosio roofie Antonia with a myrtle branch and maybe rape her.

WHY DIDN'T WE ALL READ IVANHOE INSTEAD


 Positives from this section:

 1. Antonia's mother Elvira is a badass and somehow defies Lewis's usual disgust with women over 18 by being clever and prudent and awesome. Instead of throwing Ambrosio out the second she realizes he was making sexual advances towards her daughter, she uses grace and tact to get him the hell out of her house. It is spectacularly done.

 2. The silver mirror that Matilda was given by her enslaved fallen angel is a smartphone.
A confused mixture of colours and images presented themselves to the Friar's eyes, which at length arranging themselves in their proper places, He beheld in miniature Antonia's lovely form.

 Next time I FaceTime with someone I'm gonna be like "Behold in miniature your lovely form!"

 3. The poems don't seem necessary to the plot, which is great, because I'm pretty sure nobody's reading them.

 4. Elvira wrote out the entire Bible but omitted "improper passages"? I mean, yeah, the Bible has some super-gross stuff, but even barring the whole censorship idea, do you know how LONG that would take? SO LONG. I can't tell if I'm impressed or pissed about the censoring thing.

 5.   
Every evening she was seen straying upon the Banks of a rivulet by Moonlight; and she declared herself a violent Admirer of murmuring Streams and Nightingales
 Ahahaha yes, make fun of all the Romantics, Lewis.

6. Ambrosio's overly intense romanticizing of Antonia's virtues after almost no acquaintance with her totally rings true to 17-year-old me, and I'm pretty sure 19-year-old Lewis was drawing this from his and his friends' experiences. One summer my family was vacationing in Chautauqua, NY, and I had a massive crush on one of the young artists at the opera house, despite this being appx nine years prior to coming out. I wanted her to ask for something like a glass of water from a mile away so I could run out and get it for her. Because teenagers are idiots. And Ambrosio's at the emotional/sexual level of a teenager, so there we go.

 7. With the "the modest girl wins the man in the long run," which I think is a simplified version of what Lewis is doing here (since after a while Ambrosio wants to rape her anyway) -- is the 'give it all away and they won't want you' cliché just legit how we are as a species? Is it a cultural thing? Are there benefits to it? I just don't know.

 Link up below.
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