Skip to main content

Monkalong III: So much talk of delights in people's bosoms


I'M SORRY FOR ENDING THE READING THERE I DIDN'T KNOW.

You better fix this, Monk. Holy shit. 


So basically, in this section, the monk Ambrosio and Matilda bang a lot, then he immediately gets sick of her because she's too slutty (MEN), then after talking to her for 10 seconds he's really into Antonia who we're all assuming is his sister, and now Matilda's summoned Lucifer to help Ambrosio roofie Antonia with a myrtle branch and maybe rape her.

WHY DIDN'T WE ALL READ IVANHOE INSTEAD


Positives from this section:

1. Antonia's mother Elvira is a badass and somehow defies Lewis's usual disgust with women over 18 by being clever and prudent and awesome. Instead of throwing Ambrosio out the second she realizes he was making sexual advances towards her daughter, she uses grace and tact to get him the hell out of her house. It is spectacularly done.

2. The silver mirror that Matilda was given by her enslaved fallen angel is a smartphone.

A confused mixture of colours and images presented themselves to the Friar's eyes, which at length arranging themselves in their proper places, He beheld in miniature Antonia's lovely form.

Next time I FaceTime with someone I'm gonna be like "Behold in miniature your lovely form!"

3. The poems don't seem necessary to the plot, which is great, because I'm pretty sure nobody's reading them.

4. Elvira wrote out the entire Bible but omitted "improper passages"? I mean, yeah, the Bible has some super-gross stuff, but even barring the whole censorship idea, do you know how LONG that would take? SO LONG. I can't tell if I'm impressed or pissed about the censoring thing.

5.   
Every evening she was seen straying upon the Banks of a rivulet by Moonlight; and she declared herself a violent Admirer of murmuring Streams and Nightingales
 Ahahaha yes, make fun of all the Romantics, Lewis.

6. Ambrosio's overly intense romanticizing of Antonia's virtues after almost no acquaintance with her totally rings true to 17-year-old me, and I'm pretty sure 19-year-old Lewis was drawing this from his and his friends' experiences. One summer my family was vacationing in Chautauqua, NY, and I had a massive crush on one of the young artists at the opera house, despite this being appx nine years prior to coming out. I wanted her to ask for something like a glass of water from a mile away so I could run out and get it for her. Because teenagers are idiots. And Ambrosio's at the emotional/sexual level of a teenager, so there we go.

7. With the "the modest girl wins the man in the long run," which I think is a simplified version of what Lewis is doing here (since after a while Ambrosio wants to rape her anyway) -- is the 'give it all away and they won't want you' cliché just legit how we are as a species? Is it a cultural thing? Are there benefits to it? I just don't know.

Link up below.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

How to Build a Girl Introductory Post, which is full of wonderful things you probably want to read

Acclaimed (in England mostly) lady Caitlin Moran has a novel coming out. A NOVEL. Where before she has primarily stuck to essays. Curious as we obviously were about this, I and a group of bloggers are having a READALONG of said novel, probably rife with spoilers (maybe they don't really matter for this book, though, so you should totally still read my posts). This is all hosted/cared for/lovingly nursed to health by Emily at As the Crowe Flies (and Reads) because she has a lovely fancy job at an actual bookshop ( Odyssey Books , where you can in fact pre-order this book and then feel delightful about yourself for helping an independent store). Emily and I have negotiated the wonders of Sri Lankan cuisine and wandered the Javits Center together. Would that I could drink with her more often than I have. I feel like we could get to this point, Emily INTRODUCTION-wise (I might've tipped back a little something this evening, thus the constant asides), I am Alice. I enjoy

Harry Potter 2013 Readalong Signup Post of Amazingness and Jollity

Okay, people. Here it is. Where you sign up to read the entire Harry Potter series (or to reminisce fondly), starting January 2013, assuming we all survive the Mayan apocalypse. I don't think I'm even going to get to Tina and Bette's reunion on The L Word until after Christmas, so here's hopin'. You guys know how this works. Sign up if you want to. If you're new to the blog, know that we are mostly not going to take this seriously. And when we do take it seriously, it's going to be all Monty Python quotes when we disagree on something like the other person's opinion on Draco Malfoy. So be prepared for your parents being likened to hamsters. If you want to write lengthy, heartfelt essays, that is SWELL. But this is maybe not the readalong for you. It's gonna be more posts with this sort of thing: We're starting Sorceror's/Philosopher's Stone January 4th. Posts will be on Fridays. The first post will be some sort of hilar

Book Blogger Hop, Pt II

All right. The question for this week is:  "Do you read only one book at a time, or do you have several going at once?" Oh-ho my. I have an issue with book commitment. I start a new book, and it's exciting and fresh, and I get really jazzed about it, and then 20% of the way through, almost without fail, I start getting bored and want to start another book. I once had seven books going at the same time, because I kept getting bored and starting new ones. It's a sickness. Right now I'm being pretty good and working on The Monk , Northanger Abbey , Kissing the Witch , and I'm about to start Waiting for the Barbarians since my friend lent it to me. But The Monk and NA are basically books I only read when I'm at work, so I don't see it so much as working on four books, as having books in different locales. Yes. This entry wasn't as good as some of the others, but I shall rally on the morrow. Yes I shall.