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Once Upon a Time: Swan Queen is the little ship that could (but won't)

I normally keep my feelings about Swan Queen aka Emma and Regina on the terrible ABC show Once Upon a Time out of this space, because BOOKS and so forth, but last night's episode (that I didn't watch but saw recaps of on Tumblr) was the Swan Queeniest and I can't handle that this show, after five seasons, still has not put these two women together.






Yeeeeah....

If any of these scenes had happened with a guy and a girl, the audience would be clamoring for them to get together, but because it's between two women, the Swan Queen fandom has to deal with a ridiculous amount of harassment and negativity. It took ages to even get the show's creators to acknowledge Swan Queen as a thing, which is ridiculous because it's definitely the most active fanbase for the show (#motivatedlesbians). 

Even if you ignore the size of the fandom, the way the show has structured Emma and Regina's frequently combative relationship is textbook for enemies who end up banging. Let's see, new sheriff comes to town, challenges the lady mayor, it turns out they share a son who the mayor had adopted, they save each other's lives numerous times, NOPE NO ONE EVER WOULD BE SHIPPING THAT THAT IS RIDICULOUS, ALICE.


This show's not even good, but the immense possibilities between Emma and Regina keep me invested in a ship that will probably never happen due to damn heteronormativity. THE TWO WOMEN ARE LITERALLY INVOLVED WITH BEARDS.

Beard 1
Beard 2

This show has done an enormous amount of queerbaiting (what else do you call a woman asking how she can get her "nemesis" to "taste her forbidden fruit") and I'm sick of it, but if you're invested in the pairing, you basically have to grin and bear it. I stopped watching the show two seasons ago when the season finale was The Emma and Hook Variety Hour and I spent 15 minutes after it ranting on the phone to my friend. BUT I AM OBVS STILL VERY INVOLVED.

The Swan Queen fandom is amazing and full of optimistic idiots. That should probably be our subheading: "SWEN: Optimistic Idiots." 


COME ON.

Emma and Regina have the most developed dynamic on this whole damn show, and them coming together would make total sense with the plotline they've been building for five seasons. But it 95% won't happen, because they're both women. I'd say I'm done with this ship forever, but that will never happen. Thanks, show. Thanks.

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