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Book Orders: The Awesomeness of Yesteryear

Do you remember how fricking amazing book orders were? That was the best part of my grade school experience, hands down. Or it at LEAST vies with the time my fourth grade class made a baobob tree out of chicken wire, cardboard and paper mache while watching The Lion King.

Scholastic would send out their little forms, consisting of pages and pages of discounted books. You’d circle way too many; your mom would make you whittle it down (or be overly indulgent until your dad stepped in), and then you waited. Weeks would go by, you’d learn about long division, and one day there would be several red and white boxes from Scholastic on your teacher’s desk, and she – demon harpy that she suddenly was to you – would refuse to open them until the end of the school day, knowing full well that once the class got their books/stickers, there’d be no going back to learning.

I totally want book orders as an adult. Some might say that would be browsing Amazon at work, but it’s totally different. I demand insanely thin paper catalogues with pictures of the books that I can circle, then add up the cost of on the order form, hand that with a check to some authority figure, and have the books withheld from me until I get off work, making the receiving of them all the sweeter.

…it’s thoughts like these that make us a nation of adolescents. I have precisely two responsible, adult-like friends, and I’m intimidated by them because they understand things like ‘mortgages’ and ‘car…things.’

I blame this entire entry on Borders sending out a 50% off coupon today to their mailing list. It’s made me way too giddy.

Comments

  1. I loved, loved, loved book orders from Scholastic! I can still remember some of the books I got through them (The Dollhouse Murders for one), and my parents always let me order quite a bit- books being the one thing my father approved of me spending a bit of cash on, as opposed to designer clothes and shoes. And remember the book fairs? I wish I still had that Johnny Depp from 21 Jump Street book mark I picked up one year... *sigh* I am all for a slightly more adult version of the order form!

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  2. YES, book orders. And book fairs. I remember being annoyed at the numbers of movie/celebrity "books" as time went on. I also felt incredibly snooty because the teacher would give me the next-level-up flyer too. Yeah, that's right.

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  3. @Julie I either don't remember those or I've blocked them out. I do remember always almost getting The Girl on the Milk Carton, or whatever it was called, but for some reason abstaining.

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  4. Every time my niece has a book order I attack it, I want those books.

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