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Do Not Be Intimidated By the Works of Literary Prowess I Tackle

I've been reading a book, maybe you've heard of it...THE DA VINCI CODE?

Yeah, so I'm like seven years late to the party. But since I'm reading it post-college, at least I don't have to have every sorority girl in the immediate vicinity come up to me and say "OH you're reading The Da Vinci Code? I just read it and looooved it. Have you read Angels and Demons?"

I refused to read it when it came out because of two reasons. One, everyone on campus had it as their favorite book on facebook, which annoyed me; two, I looked at the first chapter and the writing sucked. It didn't help that I was reading Possession at the same time, which is basically one of the most beautifully written books ever.

So here it is, way later, and I figured 'Eh.'

This book is ridiculous. If it seriously makes you lose your faith, I dunno, man, maybe take some night classes or something. Almost everything Brown says about Church and medieval history is wrong. Yeah, I'm a Christian and could be seen as biased, but, um, no. He's just wrong. The Gnostic Gospels were written wayyy later than the Synoptic Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke), and nobody claimed the Gospel of Mary Magdalene was fricking written by Mary Magdalene. WTF, sir?

Not that I'm angry about this. It's just dumb. Dumb, but entertaining. As long as one allows for total suspension of disbelief -- and hey, I do opera, so suspension of disbelief is kind of the name of my game -- it's a fine book. Meaning an okay book. You ignore the bad writing and clunky cliffhangers at the end of every chapter and just read a nice story with flat characters.

Oh -- I'm not okay with the characters calling the albino dude a monster seemingly because he's an albino. That's not cool, sirs.

I would like to close with a quote from The Office which was on my facebook quotes page back when people still read them:

On Desert Island Books:
Phyllis: The Da Vinci Code.
Angela: The Da Vinci Code. I would take The Da Vinci Code. So I could burn The Da Vinci Code.

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