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Yet Another Guy I Would Marry (Although This One's Dead)

"In short, the almost torpid creatures of my own fancy twitted me with imbecility, and not without fair occasion."

And with that, I fell in love with Nathaniel Hawthorne. I'm not talking about that fricking lame "I fell in love with Tuscany last autumn" kind of love. I'm saying I would literally make out with Nathaniel Hawthorne and have his babies. With possibly some stuff in between.

I mean, I'm really glad he was happily married and all, and I'd still pick John Adams over him if the option presented itself (that's a whole other thing), but were I to be transported back in time to 1850 and he wasn't married, I'd be known as that brazen Illinois girl who was constantly throwing herself at Mr. Hawthorne and tying her bonnet in a shamelessly beguiling manner.

Here's the thing: House of Seven Gables sucks. I read it before I went to Salem last year to see 'the house that inspired the book,' and both the book and the house were kind of lame. My favorite thing about the latter was the cent shop they built onto it for tourists so it'd be closer to the house in the book. Which in turn makes ME lame, but whatever, I can deal.

The sentence I quoted is from The Scarlet Letter, which rocks and is amazing, etc, and if you didn't like it you were probably forced to read it in high school. My high school's sub-par English dept ensured I did not, so I thoroughly enjoyed it and frequently swooned at the writing.

Oh, by "from The Scarlet Letter," I meant "from the introduction to The Scarlet Letter, entitled The Custom-House."

I also attempted to read The Marble Faun when I was taking a class in Avignon and was desperate for books in English. I did my typical Hawthorne swooning early on, but then my hatred for 19th c. English books set in Italy ignited and I tossed the book aside from disgust/boredom about two-thirds of the way through. After doing this, I read an article on how much The Marble Faun sucks, which made me feel justified.

Therefore, all of my love/admiration for Mr. Hawthorne comes from The Scarlet Letter. That and this dreamy painting of him:

Bow chicka wow wow
 Has anyone read The Blithedale Romance? Does it suck? I suspect it does. I mean, he wrote it between the other two that sucked. And it's about Transcendentalism or something, bleah.

Long story short, I have shameful, passionate feelings for Nathaniel Hawthorne and would jump him if I could. Now you all know, without having asked in any way whatsoever. LONG LIVE THE INTERNET.


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