Skip to main content

Books You Should Read If You Want to Be a Terrible Person

Did you all see this? "30 Books Everyone Should Read Before Their 30th Birthday."

Katie, who is about to turn 30, sent me a link to it, saying "fuck that list."


Let's look at a few of these, shall we?


1. Siddhartha. Sure. Why not. This was given to me by my hippie English teacher in 7th grade. All I remember is that when I was done, I was glaring at telephone poles because they "were not part of the natural order." So if you want to be an asshole for a week, read Siddhartha.


2. 1984. REALLY? Do we really need to read 1984? Because I think everyone's gotten the message at this point. I'm sure that in the '40s this was a really stunning book, and it's an enjoyable read, but if someone told me they hadn't read it, I'd be like "Oh. Yeah, that's fine."


3. To Kill a Mockingbird. This book is fucking awesome and everyone should read it.


4. A Clockwork Orange. Wait, seriously? This is something EVERYONE should read. And the main reason given is it will leave you "breathless, livid, thrilled, and concerned." What? No.


Then we get into The Rights of Man, The Social Contract, The Art of War (what?), Walden (fuck Walden), and Plato's Republic. Ok, first off, no. If I live to 60, I might read The Rights of Man. MAYBE. But only because I'm pretty sure John Adams read it, and John Adams is my jam. If you read all the things listed there by the time you're 30, you're probably (definitely) an insufferable person.




Here's my list off the top of my head:


1. To Kill a Mockingbird - Because it's the BEST.


2. Gone With the Wind - Uh, because dudes might also enjoy it and it's awesome.


3. Harry Potter - Omg do you live under a rock? READ THIS AND JOIN THE CULTURE IN WHICH YOU LIVE.


4. Maus - Obviously.


5. The Screwtape Letters - Look, even if you don't believe in God, you should read this. It is excellent. And C.S. Lewis is spiffy.


6. Calvin & Hobbes - Read all of these. Done. You are now a good person.


I was going to say I was surprised fricking Origin of the Species wasn't on there, but OH LOOK IT WAS, I JUST MISSED IT BEFORE. Because Darwin's theories can't be summarized on Wikipedia, no. You DEFINITELY need to read his entire book before you're 30. Just in case you didn't grasp this whole natural selection thing yet despite everyone ever talking about it.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Minithon: The Mini Readathon, January 11th, 2020

The minithon is upon us once more! Minithons are for the lazy. Minithons are for the uncommitted. Minithons are for us. The minithon lasts 6 hours (10 AM to 4 PM CST), therefore making it a mini readathon, as opposed to the lovely Dewey's 24 Hour Readathon and 24in48, both of which you should participate in, but both of which are a longer commitment than this, the Busy Watching Netflix person's readathon. By 'read for six hours' what's really meant in the minithon is "read a little bit and eat a lot of snacks and post pictures of your books and your snacks, but mostly your snacks." We like to keep it a mini theme here, which mainly means justifying your books and your snacks to fit that theme. Does your book have children in it? Mini people! Does it have a dog! Mini wolf! Does it have pencils? Mini versions of graphite mines! or however you get graphite, I don't really know. I just picture toiling miners. The point is, justify it or don't...

Book Blogger Hop, Pt II

All right. The question for this week is:  "Do you read only one book at a time, or do you have several going at once?" Oh-ho my. I have an issue with book commitment. I start a new book, and it's exciting and fresh, and I get really jazzed about it, and then 20% of the way through, almost without fail, I start getting bored and want to start another book. I once had seven books going at the same time, because I kept getting bored and starting new ones. It's a sickness. Right now I'm being pretty good and working on The Monk , Northanger Abbey , Kissing the Witch , and I'm about to start Waiting for the Barbarians since my friend lent it to me. But The Monk and NA are basically books I only read when I'm at work, so I don't see it so much as working on four books, as having books in different locales. Yes. This entry wasn't as good as some of the others, but I shall rally on the morrow. Yes I shall.

Harry Potter 2013 Readalong Signup Post of Amazingness and Jollity

Okay, people. Here it is. Where you sign up to read the entire Harry Potter series (or to reminisce fondly), starting January 2013, assuming we all survive the Mayan apocalypse. I don't think I'm even going to get to Tina and Bette's reunion on The L Word until after Christmas, so here's hopin'. You guys know how this works. Sign up if you want to. If you're new to the blog, know that we are mostly not going to take this seriously. And when we do take it seriously, it's going to be all Monty Python quotes when we disagree on something like the other person's opinion on Draco Malfoy. So be prepared for your parents being likened to hamsters. If you want to write lengthy, heartfelt essays, that is SWELL. But this is maybe not the readalong for you. It's gonna be more posts with this sort of thing: We're starting Sorceror's/Philosopher's Stone January 4th. Posts will be on Fridays. The first post will be some sort of hilar...