Skip to main content

Books You Should Read If You Want to Be a Terrible Person

Did you all see this? "30 Books Everyone Should Read Before Their 30th Birthday."

Katie, who is about to turn 30, sent me a link to it, saying "fuck that list."

Let's look at a few of these, shall we?

1. Siddhartha. Sure. Why not. This was given to me by my hippie English teacher in 7th grade. All I remember is that when I was done, I was glaring at telephone poles because they "were not part of the natural order." So if you want to be an asshole for a week, read Siddhartha.

2. 1984. REALLY? Do we really need to read 1984? Because I think everyone's gotten the message at this point. I'm sure that in the '40s this was a really stunning book, and it's an enjoyable read, but if someone told me they hadn't read it, I'd be like "Oh. Yeah, that's fine."

3. To Kill a Mockingbird. This book is fucking awesome and everyone should read it.

4. A Clockwork Orange. Wait, seriously? This is something EVERYONE should read. And the main reason given is it will leave you "breathless, livid, thrilled, and concerned." What? No.

Then we get into The Rights of Man, The Social Contract, The Art of War (what?), Walden (fuck Walden), and Plato's Republic. Ok, first off, no. If I live to 60, I might read The Rights of Man. MAYBE. But only because I'm pretty sure John Adams read it, and John Adams is my jam. If you read all the things listed there by the time you're 30, you're probably (definitely) an insufferable person.

Here's my list off the top of my head:

1. To Kill a Mockingbird - Because it's the BEST.

2. Gone With the Wind - Uh, because dudes might also enjoy it and it's awesome.

3. Harry Potter - Omg do you live under a rock? READ THIS AND JOIN THE CULTURE IN WHICH YOU LIVE.

4. Maus - Obviously.

5. The Screwtape Letters - Look, even if you don't believe in God, you should read this. It is excellent. And C.S. Lewis is spiffy.

6. Calvin & Hobbes - Read all of these. Done. You are now a good person.

I was going to say I was surprised fricking Origin of the Species wasn't on there, but OH LOOK IT WAS, I JUST MISSED IT BEFORE. Because Darwin's theories can't be summarized on Wikipedia, no. You DEFINITELY need to read his entire book before you're 30. Just in case you didn't grasp this whole natural selection thing yet despite everyone ever talking about it.


Popular posts from this blog

Harry Potter 2013 Readalong Signup Post of Amazingness and Jollity

Okay, people. Here it is. Where you sign up to read the entire Harry Potter series (or to reminisce fondly), starting January 2013, assuming we all survive the Mayan apocalypse. I don't think I'm even going to get to Tina and Bette's reunion on The L Word until after Christmas, so here's hopin'.

You guys know how this works. Sign up if you want to. If you're new to the blog, know that we are mostly not going to take this seriously. And when we do take it seriously, it's going to be all Monty Python quotes when we disagree on something like the other person's opinion on Draco Malfoy. So be prepared for your parents being likened to hamsters.

If you want to write lengthy, heartfelt essays, that is SWELL. But this is maybe not the readalong for you. It's gonna be more posts with this sort of thing:

We're starting Sorceror's/Philosopher's Stone January 4th. Posts will be on Fridays. The first post will be some sort of hilarious/awesome que…

How to Build a Girl Introductory Post, which is full of wonderful things you probably want to read

Acclaimed (in England mostly) lady Caitlin Moran has a novel coming out. A NOVEL. Where before she has primarily stuck to essays. Curious as we obviously were about this, I and a group of bloggers are having a READALONG of said novel, probably rife with spoilers (maybe they don't really matter for this book, though, so you should totally still read my posts). This is all hosted/cared for/lovingly nursed to health by Emily at As the Crowe Flies (and Reads) because she has a lovely fancy job at an actual bookshop (Odyssey Books, where you can in fact pre-order this book and then feel delightful about yourself for helping an independent store). Emily and I have negotiated the wonders of Sri Lankan cuisine and wandered the Javits Center together. Would that I could drink with her more often than I have.

INTRODUCTION-wise (I might've tipped back a little something this evening, thus the constant asides), I am Alice. I enjoy the Pleistocene era of megafauna and drinking Shirley Templ…

The Women's March 2018: Be Seen, Be Heard, Stay Angry

On January 20th, 2018, Chicago will host a second Women’s March. Those who attended the first remember the astounding numbers, miraculously warm weather, and surge of energy across the nation as America’s women stood up and said “we are here and we are angry.” 

So we did it. Our elected leader who bragged about sexual assault and who has made countless denigrating remarks about women is still in charge. Why are we marching again? 

 There is a tendency in any movement for things to lag. People become complacent, they accept their new reality, and think they can make no change. It makes sense that after the draining year that 2017 turned out to be — a year where one could constantly feel buffeted on all sides by waves of racism, misogyny, cruelty, and disregard for the planet — after that exhausting year, why should people come out in January weather to stand in the streets once again and say “We are still here and we are still angry”? 

 The answer is because without that voice, and withou…