Skip to main content

The Sun Also Rises Despite Extreme Alcoholism

Friday, right? Ugh, it's like why even TRY today. Just let me scroll through hilarious Tumblr posts and sobbing gif after sobbing gif in reaction to Amy Poehler and Will Arnett separating (I WILL NEVER BE OVER THIS).

So I was at Open Books with Julie this past weekend, and despite us being all "Oh, we have too many books, we're just gonna browse, blah blah," we obviously bought books. I got The Sun Also Rises, 'cause I've been trashing Hemingway here for a while, but I haven't actually exactly read his stuff. I might've had to read a story of his in 6th grade, because I remember our much-loathed English teacher talking about how GREAT he is and how it's AMAZING he only used the words he NEEDED, but again, much-loathed teacher, so I didn't like anything he made us read. Fricking Education of Little Tree and its white supremacist author.

Open Books had a bunch of his novels, 'cause he's Hemingway and they're awesome, and I flipped through a few. Most seemed to start with his dumbass one-line paragraphs. I. Hate. One-Line Paragraphs.

But Sun Also Rises started like a grown-up book, so I bought that. I'm like 80 pages in, and it's not terrible. Here's what's happened so far though:

1. "I have a friend. He's Jewish. Women treat him terribly 'cause he lets them."

2. Narrator (who is obvs Hemingway) writes for a newspaper. Then drinks. Then goes home to sleep. Then wakes up, meets friends, drinks. Maybe writes some more. Names some very very specific paths around Paris which mean nothing to me because all the places I went in Paris were opera-related, and also I don't have to drink all the damn time.




3. Narrator/Hemingway is all over this girl who's basically an alcoholic version of the manic pixie dream girl. She flits into his life all "Oh darling, I love you SO," and then when he's like "Oh, so you wanna stay the night?" she's like "Darling, I CAN'T, don't ask me, what is this thing we have, surely only the stars know" and then she runs off to Greece for a few days. Women, right?

So that's the first 80 pages. I was like "Hey, Brett (Pixie Girl) is kinda rockin' the same vibe as Daisy Buchanan, and that's kinda weird 'caus--ohhhh this was written in 1926. In Paris. Where Hemingway and Fitzgerald were chilling together. And evidently helping write each other's shit."




It remains compelling despite nothing having happened and everyone just drinking nonstop. Maybe it's like, lulling me into a false sense of calm and then on page 200 it'll be like "AND THEN ALIEN SPACESHIPS SHOWED UP AND BRETT AND I WERE FORTUNATELY TRAINED IN LASER CANNON USE SO POW POW SORRY ALIENS, MAYBE NEXT YEAR BUT NOT WITH ME AND BRETT IN CHARGE OF DEFENDING PLANET EARTH NOW LET'S ALL HAVE A SILLY STRING PARTY."

That'd be awesome. Best author EVER.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Harry Potter 2013 Readalong Signup Post of Amazingness and Jollity

Okay, people. Here it is. Where you sign up to read the entire Harry Potter series (or to reminisce fondly), starting January 2013, assuming we all survive the Mayan apocalypse. I don't think I'm even going to get to Tina and Bette's reunion on The L Word until after Christmas, so here's hopin'.


You guys know how this works. Sign up if you want to. If you're new to the blog, know that we are mostly not going to take this seriously. And when we do take it seriously, it's going to be all Monty Python quotes when we disagree on something like the other person's opinion on Draco Malfoy. So be prepared for your parents being likened to hamsters.

If you want to write lengthy, heartfelt essays, that is SWELL. But this is maybe not the readalong for you. It's gonna be more posts with this sort of thing:


We're starting Sorceror's/Philosopher's Stone January 4th. Posts will be on Fridays. The first post will be some sort of hilarious/awesome que…

How to Build a Girl Introductory Post, which is full of wonderful things you probably want to read

Acclaimed (in England mostly) lady Caitlin Moran has a novel coming out. A NOVEL. Where before she has primarily stuck to essays. Curious as we obviously were about this, I and a group of bloggers are having a READALONG of said novel, probably rife with spoilers (maybe they don't really matter for this book, though, so you should totally still read my posts). This is all hosted/cared for/lovingly nursed to health by Emily at As the Crowe Flies (and Reads) because she has a lovely fancy job at an actual bookshop (Odyssey Books, where you can in fact pre-order this book and then feel delightful about yourself for helping an independent store). Emily and I have negotiated the wonders of Sri Lankan cuisine and wandered the Javits Center together. Would that I could drink with her more often than I have.


INTRODUCTION-wise (I might've tipped back a little something this evening, thus the constant asides), I am Alice. I enjoy the Pleistocene era of megafauna and drinking Shirley Templ…

A synonym for 'Neanderthal' is 'boorish,' which just isn't very nice

So this article came out, which isn't really groundbreaking at all, but it happens to have been published the day after I watched part of the NOVA special "Becoming Human," so it's been on my brain anyway.

I was checking out a book a while ago called Cro-Magnon: How the Ice Age Gave Birth to the First Modern Humans, and it was all "Oh dude, our ancestors probably didn't even LOOK at Neanderthals. No way. 'Cause they would've been like, RIDICULOUSLY ugly."

This book was published in 2010. And what came out this year? DNA Shows Humans Found Non-Humans Irresistible

That's right. Your lady ancestor, at some point, sidled up to a Neanderthal gentleman and said "Hey. How's it goin'?


Because all non-Africans ('cause the Africans stayed put instead of traipsing around becoming the Don Juans of prehistoric Europe) have 1-4% Neanderthal DNA. So the above scenario DEFINITELY happened. Which is disheartening NOT because of my huge Neanderth…