"Oh, it's INCREDIBLY ambivalent"

Julie and I had a harrowing experience at Myopic Books in Wicker Park (Hipsterville) on Monday. Because it's hipster, it's open until 11 on a weeknight, and we were making an emergency book run at 9 pm. But there were other people there. Oh yes. University of Chicago people.

You know this?

Not entirely accurate. Because UofC freshmen are the worst. The DAY I talk about pretension on here, we run into SEVERAL little clumps of freshmen scattered throughout the store, holding Jonathan Franzen novels and saying things like "When I first read Gravity's Rainbow--" the end of which we never heard, because I forcibly moved us far away. I'm a grownass lady. I don't have to listen to that shit.
As Julie said on twitter: "WTH, who let the U of C people out of their hole tonight? It's like rumspringa but dorkier in a sad way."
They belong in Hyde Park. Return there! Stay out of our part of the city! Ah, and gang wars begin to make sense. I would willingly wear something that would differentiate me from UofC people (they're already set apart because of the smug sense of superiority engraved on their faces, but still).
"Omg you guys, I just LOVE books. Don't you just feel a sense of calm in a bookstore? Like it quiets your soul."
Booooooooooooo.
Real quick touching on something else -- so. Carry the One. I really wanted to like you. And I admit I didn't give you much of a chance, and now you're way overdue at the library and I have to return you. But I could not get into you. None of the characters grabbed me, EVEN THOUGH I originally picked it up because my friend Katie said "So, there's a character named Alice in here. Who likes ladies. And visits Emma Goldman's grave." And I was like WHAT? Because do I need to drag out the picture of me at Emma Goldman's grave again? (I think not)
But it's hard for me to get into books that aren't either hilarious, historical, or REALLY MYSTERIOUS (I just realized Wilkie Collins' are all three -- Cult of Wilkie 4Evs). This seems kind of like "Hey, you know real people and how you interact with them every day? Don't you also want to READ about them?" And I'm like "....no, not really." So there we have it.

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