Skip to main content

And Then There Were None (The Final, Non-Racist Title)

It is FRIDAY. And everyone's being all lame at updating, whereas I have genuinely finished a book, so updating ahoy! Also Sherlock and Irene Adler posted photos on twitter and they are making me SO HAPPY.

please do another episode, Lara. please.

And I read the apparently BEST-selling mystery novel of all time! And one of the best-selling all-around books of ever. That is crazy. Only not so much, because And Then There Were None, formerly known as Ten Little Indians, formerly known as -- HEY I'm not writing that on my blog, is full of INTRIGUE and not a lot else, but intrigue is enough for a book as short and as intrigueful as it is.

I'd never read any Agatha Christies, and I bought this particular book in 2008. Which was four years ago if my stellar math skills are working properly. But the beginning...nope. If you go into Agatha Christie being like "Ah! An English novelist! Huzzah for finely delineated characters and rich description of the English countryside!" then as of page two, you will put the book down and not pick it up again for four years. Because Characters are not her thing. Which is FINE. Do you read R.L. Stine for character? Because I'm sorry, but this was kind of like a Fear Street book. I mean, it was totally awesome, but awesome in basically the same way a Fear Street book is.

So the premise is these ten people are all brought to this place called Indian Island, and they're all basically introduced at once, and I couldn't keep them straight for a while, so maybe write down their names and jobs when you're starting? Anyway, it was all kind of "Yes yes, whatever" UNTIL they're all in the drawing room and a disembodied voice is like "SIR PERCIVAL [or whoever] YOU ARE GUILTY OF THE MURDER OF BLAHBLAH. ANGUS MCCUTCHEON, YOU ARE GUILTY OF THE MURDER OF WHOOSYWHATSIT" and so on. At which point I was riveted and pretty much did not stop reading.

I mean, did I have some horror movie, why-are-you-all-being-idiots moments? YES. Because there are ten of them, and people keep dying, and they WON'T STICK TOGETHER. Omg. By the time the third person died, I'd be like "Ok, well, we're all staying together all the time." And someone would be like "Oh, but I need to use the facilities." And I'd be like "GUESS WHO'S COMING WITH YOU ALL OF US." It's probably some idiotic 1930s English propriety ridiculousness, but they still all sleep in separate bedrooms. Wtf. We'd all sleep in the same room, and three people would be awake at all times. I've planned this and my LIFE isn't even on the line.

I should probably say this is way cleverer than a Fear Street book. Because it is. But I mean, c'mon, R.L. Stine's written a LOT of books.

In conclusion, read this, because apparently everyone else in the world has, and why be left out when the book doesn't suck? And then we can all contemplate how Agatha Christie got away with making the name 'Agatha' acceptable. No one else has this power.

Have a good weekend, buddies


Popular posts from this blog

Harry Potter 2013 Readalong Signup Post of Amazingness and Jollity

Okay, people. Here it is. Where you sign up to read the entire Harry Potter series (or to reminisce fondly), starting January 2013, assuming we all survive the Mayan apocalypse. I don't think I'm even going to get to Tina and Bette's reunion on The L Word until after Christmas, so here's hopin'.

You guys know how this works. Sign up if you want to. If you're new to the blog, know that we are mostly not going to take this seriously. And when we do take it seriously, it's going to be all Monty Python quotes when we disagree on something like the other person's opinion on Draco Malfoy. So be prepared for your parents being likened to hamsters.

If you want to write lengthy, heartfelt essays, that is SWELL. But this is maybe not the readalong for you. It's gonna be more posts with this sort of thing:

We're starting Sorceror's/Philosopher's Stone January 4th. Posts will be on Fridays. The first post will be some sort of hilarious/awesome que…

How to Build a Girl Introductory Post, which is full of wonderful things you probably want to read

Acclaimed (in England mostly) lady Caitlin Moran has a novel coming out. A NOVEL. Where before she has primarily stuck to essays. Curious as we obviously were about this, I and a group of bloggers are having a READALONG of said novel, probably rife with spoilers (maybe they don't really matter for this book, though, so you should totally still read my posts). This is all hosted/cared for/lovingly nursed to health by Emily at As the Crowe Flies (and Reads) because she has a lovely fancy job at an actual bookshop (Odyssey Books, where you can in fact pre-order this book and then feel delightful about yourself for helping an independent store). Emily and I have negotiated the wonders of Sri Lankan cuisine and wandered the Javits Center together. Would that I could drink with her more often than I have.

INTRODUCTION-wise (I might've tipped back a little something this evening, thus the constant asides), I am Alice. I enjoy the Pleistocene era of megafauna and drinking Shirley Templ…

The Women's March 2018: Be Seen, Be Heard, Stay Angry

On January 20th, 2018, Chicago will host a second Women’s March. Those who attended the first remember the astounding numbers, miraculously warm weather, and surge of energy across the nation as America’s women stood up and said “we are here and we are angry.” 

So we did it. Our elected leader who bragged about sexual assault and who has made countless denigrating remarks about women is still in charge. Why are we marching again? 

 There is a tendency in any movement for things to lag. People become complacent, they accept their new reality, and think they can make no change. It makes sense that after the draining year that 2017 turned out to be — a year where one could constantly feel buffeted on all sides by waves of racism, misogyny, cruelty, and disregard for the planet — after that exhausting year, why should people come out in January weather to stand in the streets once again and say “We are still here and we are still angry”? 

 The answer is because without that voice, and withou…