Skip to main content

In Which I Am Too Chummy With People I Don't Know

I'm going to briefly go into love for authors as people despite one not knowing them, BUT FIRST, I want to relate something my friend Stephanie said, because it's one of those times you realize your friends know you better than you know yourself.

CASE IN POINT being that today I bought a drawing of the Doctor and River Song from Doctor Who -- yeah, a drawing -- and I sent Stephanie a link to it and this is how the conversation went:

Stephanie: I feel like this is the beginning of the end.
Me: beginning of the end of what!
S: the beginning of the end of your obsession.
Me: why! [I don't use question marks when I'm indignant]
S: Because it always starts winding down after you purchase the most ridiculous item.

And then I was shamed into silence. Because that is an accurate statement.

NOW. Authors. I tend to ignore them if they're still alive, and sometimes I avoid as much biographical detail about them as I can, because they carry with them an air of douchiness (ex: Dickens), but with SOME authors, I have a fondness for them that carries me through some of their not-so-stellar writing. Mainly because of passages like this, by Virginia Woolf:
Seriously and solemnly Richard Dalloway got on his hind legs and said that no decent man ought to read Shakespeare’s sonnets because it was like listening at keyholes (besides the relationship was not one that he approved). No decent man ought to let his wife visit a deceased wife’s sister. Incredible! The only thing to do was to pelt him with sugared almonds
Virginia Woolf (who will appear in my mind, despite it supposedly being Clarissa Dalloway) pelting someone with sugared almonds is basically my favorite authorial image ever.  And so now, despite having heard her speak, I still love her.

I also have a weird kind of love for the Brontes, which primarily manifests itself in bemused condescension. Like "Aw, you crazy women up on the moors, look at this stuff you wrote."

I make fun of George Eliot's appearance every time I mention her, but if I met her in real life, I guarantee this is how it'd go:

Me: Uh...hello, Miss Eliot. I've read Middlemarch and it sure was swell.
George Eliot: *stares me down*
Me: *even less confident* How'd that writing's pretty great.
George Eliot: *stares me down more*
Me: *passes out*

Because when faced with people about whom I have all sorts of IN-DEPTH AND IMPRESSIVE thoughts, I seem to never fail telling them only the most banal things possible. It's a gift.

Lastly -- and I realize these are only women, but I have already proposed to Steve Hely once on this blog and my wounded pride will not allow me to revisit the subject -- lastly, there is Jane Austen. I once referred to her as "Janie" and my friend made me promise never to do it again.

Is this just me? Does anyone else foster relationships in their head with long-dead authors? Although put that way, I guess it doesn't sound ideal in terms of a thing to do. But it makes the Victorian era so much more fun.


Popular posts from this blog

Harry Potter 2013 Readalong Signup Post of Amazingness and Jollity

Okay, people. Here it is. Where you sign up to read the entire Harry Potter series (or to reminisce fondly), starting January 2013, assuming we all survive the Mayan apocalypse. I don't think I'm even going to get to Tina and Bette's reunion on The L Word until after Christmas, so here's hopin'. You guys know how this works. Sign up if you want to. If you're new to the blog, know that we are mostly not going to take this seriously. And when we do take it seriously, it's going to be all Monty Python quotes when we disagree on something like the other person's opinion on Draco Malfoy. So be prepared for your parents being likened to hamsters. If you want to write lengthy, heartfelt essays, that is SWELL. But this is maybe not the readalong for you. It's gonna be more posts with this sort of thing: We're starting Sorceror's/Philosopher's Stone January 4th. Posts will be on Fridays. The first post will be some sort of hilar

Minithon: The Mini Readathon, January 11th, 2020

The minithon is upon us once more! Minithons are for the lazy. Minithons are for the uncommitted. Minithons are for us. The minithon lasts 6 hours (10 AM to 4 PM CST), therefore making it a mini readathon, as opposed to the lovely Dewey's 24 Hour Readathon and 24in48, both of which you should participate in, but both of which are a longer commitment than this, the Busy Watching Netflix person's readathon. By 'read for six hours' what's really meant in the minithon is "read a little bit and eat a lot of snacks and post pictures of your books and your snacks, but mostly your snacks." We like to keep it a mini theme here, which mainly means justifying your books and your snacks to fit that theme. Does your book have children in it? Mini people! Does it have a dog! Mini wolf! Does it have pencils? Mini versions of graphite mines! or however you get graphite, I don't really know. I just picture toiling miners. The point is, justify it or don't

How to Build a Girl Introductory Post, which is full of wonderful things you probably want to read

Acclaimed (in England mostly) lady Caitlin Moran has a novel coming out. A NOVEL. Where before she has primarily stuck to essays. Curious as we obviously were about this, I and a group of bloggers are having a READALONG of said novel, probably rife with spoilers (maybe they don't really matter for this book, though, so you should totally still read my posts). This is all hosted/cared for/lovingly nursed to health by Emily at As the Crowe Flies (and Reads) because she has a lovely fancy job at an actual bookshop ( Odyssey Books , where you can in fact pre-order this book and then feel delightful about yourself for helping an independent store). Emily and I have negotiated the wonders of Sri Lankan cuisine and wandered the Javits Center together. Would that I could drink with her more often than I have. I feel like we could get to this point, Emily INTRODUCTION-wise (I might've tipped back a little something this evening, thus the constant asides), I am Alice. I enjoy