Pay Attention Emily Brown Is the Bee's Knees

Welcome to I-recommend-a-book-and-yeah-I'm-kind-of-biased-but-it's-WAY-AWESOME.

My mother is one of those Force to Be Reckoned With people, and that is not said idly. People come away from her shaken and awed. Nurses in hospitals (she has some health issues) quail before her imperious gaze, and those who try to patronize her emerge from the encounter a husk of their former self.

She wrote a book for children!

Two of my three brothers have had attention issues, and a very long time ago, my mother wrote a poem called Pay Attention, Emily Brown. My brother Carl, who is a super-weirdo artist, finally said he would illustrate it, and behold!:

Yeeeah, I know what you're thinking. 'GOOD LORD WHERE CAN I PURCHASE THIS FOR A CHILD IN MY LIFE?'

The answer would be "A bookstore." Come unto me, for I have the answers, my friends!

An example of the kind of talk you unfortunately will not find in the book (although you will find a message of love and patience and generally adorable illustrations) is this conversation betwixt myself and my mother when I mentioned goodreads:

My mom: Goodreads? My book should be on greatreads.
Me: That's funny.
My mom: Greatreads? That's not funny, that's accurate. Don't give me shit.

She's a special lady.

And! For your further viewing pleasure, here's a kickass drawing my oldest and weirdest brother did:

Look at that fine illustration. Just kind of makes you proud to be an American. (unless you're not, in which case your country is very nice as well)

Anyway, yes, so it's a lovely book and since my family has created nothing else in the field of literature, this is the only such entry I will make. Huzzah for children's books!